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In the delivery room, Amanda gives birth quickly to a baby girl. When the baby is delivered, however, she has a tail. Although the nurse is shocked, the delivery doctor sighs "Not again".
The Credits Roll: The Truth is Out There.
As Mulder drives Scully to Martinsburg, he shows her a copy of a tabloid featuring Monkey Baby fathered by aliens. The tabloid has a bad picture of a monkey's head and tail pasted on an infant's body. Although Mulder thinks the picture is cheesy, he sees an X File there.
Scully explains to Mulder that tails on babies, while not an everyday occurrence is not unheard of either. Children with excessive spinal fluid often have it build into a vestigial tail on the backbone but it will be absorbed as the child grows. In rare cases, the tail remains but is easily removed with surgery.
Mulder points out the fact that Amanda's baby is one of five infants born in Martinsburg, population 15,000, with tails over the last few months. Scully agrees this is odd but thinks its a job for the health department, not the FBI. She thinks Mulder is much more interested in the alien part of the article than the tail.
At the hospital, Mulder and Scully interview Amanda. Her daughter will be fine -- no problems other than the tail. Scully asks if Amanda had a problem pregnancy or problems conceiving. Amanda says no, in fact this was an unplanned pregnancy and she's a single mom.
Mulder, sitting in a chair by Amanda's hospital bed while Scully stands behind him, mentions the father and what Amanda said about the father being an alien. Mulder wants to know if she was abducted.
No, Amanda tells him, the alien just dropped by her house. One thing lead to another and she wound up pregnant. The alien, according to Amanda is Luke Skywalker, a Jedi Knight.
Mulder started to squirm while Scully asked if Luke "had a light saber?"
When Amanda continues in a serious vein, Mulder becomes really embarrassed when Amanda starts humming the Star Wars theme as a song Luke sang to her.
Mulder finally flees the room while Scully tries hard not to break out laughing. Scully asks Amanda how many times she saw Star Wars. Amanda proudly replies 368 times and hopes to make it 400 by Memorial Day.
As Scully leaves, a worried Amanda asks if Luke could have fathered the other babies with tails. Scully gets an idea.
Mulder meanwhile is looking at the newborns in the nursery. There are several people with him at the nursery window, including a man in a workman's uniform with the name "Eddie" sewn on the pocket. Amanda's baby is easy to pick out -- she has the tail.
Mulder meets up with Scully who is finishing a phone call. "Take your best shot.", Mulder tells Scully "but I think there is more here than a light saber." Scully agrees. She called from blood tests on all the babies. They all have the same damaged chromosome -- #8. This caused the tail. All the children, according to the blood test, have the same father. The tail is a hereditary trait.
Mulder asks Scully if "Dad" would have a tail. Scully thinks he would, but probably had it removed as a kid. Mulder reviews the children's records and all were delivered by the same doctor -- Dr. Alton Pugh. Dr. Pugh, in fact, was treating the parents of the other children, except Amanda, for fertility problems. Mulder and Scully suspect Pugh.
So do the parents of the other children. When Scully and Mulder get to his office, the parents of the other children, including a couple named Neiman, are fighting with the doctor. One couple thinks its bad enough to have a baby with a tail but now its worse since it isn't even the husband's child.
Pugh is defensive -- he swears he used the right sperm in his male sperm mobility treatments. He was surprised it worked in all four couples, however, since the treatment usually only worked 40% of the time. He wonders aloud if the women had affairs.
While the couples and Pugh argue, Mulder wanders off. He comes across a repair man working under a sink. Mulder notices a scar on his back where a tail would be. Mulder tries to question the man. He is Eddie, the man at the nursery window. Eddie is balding, chubby and less than handsome. Before Mulder can question him, however, he takes off.
Mulder chases Eddie down the hall, sliding on the floor to where the couples, Dr. Pugh and Scully are standing. As Mulder handcuffs Eddie, he shows Scully and the others the scar on Eddie's back. The couples are disgusted.
Medical tests prove Eddie is the father of all five children. Eddie is more concerned that his last name -- Van Blundht -- is spelled without the "h" on his test results.
Mulder wants to know how he did it. Scully asks how did in inseminate 5 women. Eddie is offended by this suggestion, "You make it sound so romantic" he says in disgust.
Mulder asks Eddie if he romanced the women. Eddie is bothered by Mulder's questions. Does Mulder think that Eddie is incapable of romance and love just because he had a tail? "Maybe I have personality", Eddie states.
Scully asks how did he have sex with women who don't remember having sex with him. Eddie tries to answer with a hypothetical situation. Maybe the women wanted kids and someone could give them to the women, other than their husbands. If this somebody did not get caught, where's the harm.
When Mulder and Scully leave Eddie in the interrogation room, Mulder admits he has no theories. Scully has one however. She thinks Eddie used Rohypnol, the date rape drug. The drugged women would hallucinate that Eddie was their spouse, especially if he mixed the drugs with alcohol. As Mulder and Scully leave the room, Eddie is studying Mulder.
Eddie is booked by a local deputy. After eyeing the deputy for a while, he morphs into the deputy. Eddie knocks the deputy out cold with a candy jar and leaves.
The next morning, Scully is being brought up to speed by the local sheriff. The sheriff swears to Scully that he saw the injured deputy leave at 3am -- looking fine. Mulder arrives, reporting the deputy's extra uniform has been replaced by Eddie's clothes. The injured deputy appears. He recounts his last few minutes with Eddie before the other deputies take him to the hospital.
Mulder tells Scully he has a theory, "want to hear it?"
"Van Blundht somehow physically transformed into his captor then walked out the door leaving no one the wiser.", Scully guesses.
"Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?", Mulder jokes.
"Mulder, why can't you just go for the simple answer?", Scully asks. She thinks the deputy was knocked goofy by Eddie and could have thought McGruff the crime dog hit him. Mulder stands by the shapeshifter idea, mentioning to Scully that they saw folks like Eddie before. Mulder doesn't think Eddie's an alien -- "not unless they have trailer parks in space" -- but does think he's abnormal.
Mulder and Scully go to Eddie's house. On the way up the steps, Mulder asks Scully if she could be anyone else for a day, who would she be. Scully wants to be herself. Mulder, thinking that was boring, wondered if we are really just what people think we are and asks Scully to try again. She answers Eleanor Roosevelt. Mulder makes a face and tells her no dead people.
The two begin to disagree about why no dead people. Eddie's father, Eddie Sr., opens the door, causing the "h" in Van Blundht to fall off. He is a big burly guy older man. Eddie Sr. is mortified at what Eddie Jr. did, including the assault.
While Scully is questioning Eddie Sr., Mulder notices a poster. Eddie Sr. was a Monkey Man in the circus. When Eddie Sr. goes to drop his trousers to show Mulder and Scully his tail, Scully stops him.
Eddie Sr., whose home is full of magazines, pulls out an old periodical with Eddie Jr. on the cover having his tail amputated. Eddie Sr. did not approve of the procedure -- he thought his son wasn't too handsome, wasn't too smart and was not athletic. Without his tail, Eddie Jr. was small potatoes.
Mulder asks Eddie Sr. if Eddie Jr. had any other medical conditions. When Eddie Sr. calls Mulder by his last name, Mulder remembers not introducing himself. Eddie Sr. tries to bluff, saying Scully introduced him, but she didn't either. Eddie Sr. takes off. He is really Eddie Jr. Mulder and Scully try to chase him but can't find him.
Eddie Jr., meanwhile, has morphed into neighbor and one of the tailed children's fathers Fred Neiman. He runs into the Neiman house and locks himself into the bathroom, much to Mrs. Neiman's surprise. She wonders if he is OK and why did he change his clothes. Eddie morphs back to himself and is able to put Mrs. Neiman at ease -- never opening the bathroom door.
Back at Eddie's house, Mulder and Scully search around. Mulder pulls down a staircase hidden in the ceiling that goes to the attic. Quicklime falls as he starts to pull the rope to bring down the stairs. A mummified body, with a tail, falls from the attic. It is Eddie Sr.
Back at the Neimans, the real Fred Neiman returns, freaking out his wife in the living room and Eddie in the john. As the couple go to see who is really in their bathroom, Eddie morphs into Mulder.
Scully starts the autopsy of Eddie Sr. when the real Mulder arrives. Although the exact cause of death is still unclear, Scully discovers that Eddie Sr.'s skin was really muscle. As Scully is calling up samples on her computer screen, Mulder accidentally breaks off his tail. Mulder tries to reattach the tail while he asks Scully questions, trying to keep her busy. Mulder wonders if Eddie's morphing ability comes from a similar muscle. As he reattaches the tail, he tells Scully that he wants to question Amanda. All the women with the children with tails were married. Amanda was not and Mulder wants to know why. He runs out of the room just before the tail falls off again.
The Faux Mulder questions Amanda about Eddie. She tells him that Eddie was an old boyfriend -- a mistake she made in high school. Amanda thinks Eddie is a loser. Eddie/Mulder is hurt by this. She keeps bad mouthing Eddie to Eddie/Mulder, insulting his habits, his work ethic, his drive and his family. Amanda tells the Faux Mulder that Eddie's only good quality was that he liked Star Wars, "but he is no Luke". As the bogus Mulder leaves, he gives Amanda a flower and congratulates her on the birth.
The real Mulder arrives at the Nurse's Station just as the fake Mulder is leaving. When Amanda asks the real Mulder why he is back, his cell phone rings. The Neimans just add to his confusion since according to Fred, Mulder told them not to use their bathroom -- Eddie/Mulder made it a crime scene. Mulder realizes that Eddie has morphed into Mulder. He begins a search.
In the hospital's locker room/shower area, Mulder handcuffs the room's two users -- Dr. Pugh and a security guard. He wants to know which one is Eddie, but neither are happy with Mulder's methods. Eddie falls from a large tile in a false ceiling, hitting Mulder.
When Scully arrives at the hospital, the fake Mulder (she is not aware of this) is apologizing to the Security Guard and Dr. Pugh. He tells Scully that Eddie knocked him out and was now on the run. Since the cops were looking for Eddie, their work was done. Scully asks about the X File, but Eddie/Mulder doesn't know what that is. He is able to bluff his way out of it. They leave for D.C. with Faux Mulder noting that Eddie was nothing more than small potatoes.
Locked in the janitor's closet at the hospital is the real Mulder. He kicks, screams and tries to get out. Eddie was nice enough, however, to leave him some soda, an apple and a sandwich.
Back at FBI HQ, the new Mulder is trying to look cool in Skinner's office. Skinner is unhappy with the report -- among other things, FBI is misspelled twice. According to Scully, Eddie's dad died of natural causes. Eddie was stealing his social security checks.
As Mulder and Scully return to the basement, Faux Mulder tries to find out what Scully is doing that night -- it is Friday. She was going to work on her monograph for Penology Review, "Diminished Acethylocholine Production in Recidivist Offenders". The bogus Mulder is having a hard time finding the right key to open his office door. Scully tells the Faux Mulder that she is so interested in Eddie Sr.'s tissue samples that she may study them all night instead.
As Scully dashes off the Quantico with tissue samples, the Faux Mulder goes to the real Mulder's office and sits in his chair. Leaning back like Mulder, the fake Mulder tips and falls off the chair. Eddie/Mulder looks around at Mulder's office and worries about how his tax dollars are being spent.
Eddie/Mulder pulls out the real Mulder's wallet and finally, Mulder's address is revealed: 2360 Hegal Place #42 Alexandria, VA 23242
Once in Mulder's apartment, Eddie, still looking like Mulder, wonders where Mulder sleeps. Eddie/Mulder plays back Mulder's phone messages -- an invite for cheese steaks and JFK assassination talk with the Lone Gunmen and a woman named Chantal who missing Mulder's (he goes by the name Marty) sexy voice. Her new rates are down to $.49 a minute. Eddie wonders why a good looking guy like Mulder has such losers for friends uses phone sex lines.
Eddie/Mulder plays with his badge and gun -- losing the bullets at one point, before making his evening's plans.
Scully, in more casual garb, is working on her coffee table when her doorbell rings. It is the fake Mulder with a bottle of wine. Scully is worried about what Mulder wants, but he just dropped by.
Confused, Scully gets some wine glasses while Eddie/Mulder tries to get casual on her couch. As she pours the wine, she wants to know what he's really up to -- Eddie/Mulder starts to make his move.
Several hours later, with the fire roaring and most of the wine gone, Scully is telling prom stories and the two are having a great time. Scully tells Eddie/Mulder that she can't believe how she is opening up to him.
Eddie/Mulder can't believe that they never really talked.
Scully admits she's "seeing a whole new side of you Mulder."
"Is that a good thing?", Eddie/Mulder asks.
"I like it.", Scully replies.
Faux Mulder asks Scully if she could change things, would she -- is she the person she thought she'd be as a kid. Scully answers that she's not the person she thought she'd be career-wise but hedges on the rest. She turns the question on the fake Mulder.
The fake Mulder moves in for a kiss. Just before they kiss, the real Mulder breaks her door down. Scully, realizing what happens, jumps away from the fake Mulder while looking embarrassed. The real Mulder looks oddly hurt by all this. Eddie morphs back to himself.
One month later, Eddie is in a West Virginia jail. He is on muscle relaxers which stopped his morphing. It was Mulder's idea.
Eddie invited Mulder to the jail. He is wearing a hat that says "Superstar" - to help his self esteem according to the prison shrink. Mulder asks if it is working but its not. Eddie is roughed up by other prisoners who take the hat each week after his therapy sessions.
Eddie asks if Scully is with Mulder, but Mulder just glares at him. Eddie tells Mulder that he was born a loser but Mulder is one by choice. He suggests that Mulder have a little fun, live a little. Mulder just leaves.
Scully, waiting for Mulder outside the visitor's room, tells Mulder "You're not a loser."
"Yeah", Mulder replies, "but I'm no Eddie Van Blundht either, am I?".
The two leave the jail.
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