Three of a Kind

Written by Vince Gilligan and John Shiban

Directed by Bryan Spicer

Internal dating: Not date given. Episode aired May 2nd 1999.


The show opens with a "previously on the X-Files..." montage of TLG's previous meeting with Suzanne Modeski, ten years earlier. From this we cut to a picturesque colonial two-story, complete with white picket fence and a white mini van pulling up out front. Byers gets out, collects his mail and enters the yard. As he does so, a narrative begins, by him, describing the scene we see.

Teaser

"My name is John Fitzgerald Byers. I was named after our 35th president, and I keep having this beautiful dream..." As he narrates, two cute little girls run out to greet him. Carrying one and holding the others' hand, Byers enters the house and the narration continues.

"In my dream the events of November 22, 1963 never happened. In it, my namesake was never assassinated. Other things are different too, in my dream. My country is hopeful and innocent, young again. Young in spirit. My fellow citizens trust their elected officials, never once having been betrayed by them. My government is truly of the people, by the people, for the people. All my hopes, for my country, for myself, are fulfilled. I have everything a person could want. Home and family. And love. Everything that counts for anything in life, I have it."

As he moves through the perfect house, a golden retriever greets him, and follows him out into the backyard where he greets his dream wife, who we see to be Suzanne Modeski. They're kissing, and the camera moves in close to blackness as Byers continues his narration. The camera pulls out to find Byers is now standing in the desert, alone in the hot sun, holding a ring.

"But the dream ends the same way every time. I lose it all."

Roll opening credits. The Truth is Out There

Act I

Opens in Las Vegas at night, with the legend: Las Vegas, Nevada. The camera pans the crowd to land on the glowing Monte Carlo Casino and Hotel sign saying Def-Con '99, Welcome Defense Contractors. Cut to inside of the casino and the camera picks out a burly security guard with no sense of humor. He's obviously guarding the back room game we cut to. It's a poker game of one very neatly dressed man, two nearly identical men, one scruffy cigar smoking man and one "Stuart Funsten" aka John Byers, wearing nerdy glasses. Byers is obviously fishing for information during the game. Frohike, dressed as a waiter, enters the room, serving drinks. He makes eye contact with Byers, which tips the guy off that the two of them know each other.

Byers and the man are the only two playing now, the others have folded. Byers and the guy begin to play for high stakes when the man begins to grill Byers on his "company's" product. The question brings us to Langly who is listening in with a bug in Byers' glasses. The guy asks Byers a stumper and he blows the answer, which gets him and Frohike thrown out of the game. He also loses 3,000 dollars in the game, something Langly is holding his head and complaining about when the guys get back to their room.

"It should have been me in there playing, why does Byers get to do all the undercover?"

Frohike tugs on Langly's hair and answers, "Cause this ain't Woodstock." before hunting up some cold pizza.

Byers is suspicious of the man who made them and tells Langly to look into it. A knock at the door reveals two guys who look remarkably like TLG, one of whom says, "CIA, open up!" TLG roll their eyes and we're introduced to two even nerdier guys than the TLG. One man is Jimmy, another Timmy.

Jimmy reveals that "political assassination" is the theme for this years' convention. He thinks there's some big new stealth assassination technology coming on line soon. Langly joins Timmy and Jimmy for the big seafood all you can eat buffet, while Frohike and Byers go back into the room. Frohike tells Byers he knows he's still looking for Suzanne Modeski. Byers tells Frohike he's certain Suzanne is still alive He talks Byers into joining Langly for dinner.

Down in the casino, Byers spots Modeski and follows her through the crowd, losing her in the maze.

The casino noises merge into the sound of a cellular phone ringing and we cut to one on a bedside table. An obviously sleeping Scully turns on a light and answers the phone.

"Yeah, Scully"

"Hey, Scully, it's me."

"Mulder, what time is it?"

"2:34 am. Listen Scully, I need you on the next plane to Las Vegas."

"Las Vegas, why?"

"It's the Lone Gunmen, they're onto something big."

"What big?"

"It's really important, trust me."

As the conversation continues, cut to a computer simulation screen, it's green line following the flow of conversation. Obviously, this is a fake-Mulder calling Scully. The camera moves from the computer that Frohike's using to the faces of the Lone Gunmen. The conversation continues.

"Yeah, I trust you, Mulder, it's the Three Stooges I'm not so sure about."

TLG react to that, frowning at each other.

Scully sleepily agrees to get to Vegas. Meanwhile TLG discuss why they lured her there instead of Mulder. Frohike laughs and shakes his head, saying, "She's gonna kick our ass." Byers argues about having her out here, Langly tells him that if he wants his own government agent he should call Mulder, not "just Scully." Again Frohike shakes his head, "She's gonna kick our ass." Byers explains that Mulder's too high profile.

Langly tells Byers that Suzanne's not in the hotel computer anywhere and they send him out for ice, deciding he needs a drink.

At the vending machine, he sees his poker playing friend and watches him go into a room, the door opened by Suzanne Modeski. Byers watches in disbelief as Suzanne kisses the man and hangs the Do Not Disturb sign out.

Act II

Opens with a great shot looking up through the bucket of ice as Byers buries his head in it. Frohike has looked up the room that Byers saw Suzanne in and identifies the man as one Grant Ellis, who works for the same company Suzanne did ten years ago.

The more they find out about Ellis, the more Byers is convinced that Suzanne has been brainwashed. Langly and Frohike can't believe what they're hearing. Byers is spouting about mind control and is convinced that she wouldn't be working for Ellis.

Frohike, dressed as a maintenance guy, attempts to enter Suzanne's room, but is stopped by the maid. He skulks in a doorway until she's gone.

Meanwhile Byers, in his Stuart glasses, and Langly are trying to sneak into the days' conference events. They encounter Jimmy and two others, with Jimmy giving his standard, "CIA, freeze" line and startling an obviously tense Byers. Jimmy tells the guys that Timmy is out in the desert, and in response to Langly saying they had to get into the conference room, boasts that he can do it.

Armed with a video camera, he slides through the air ducts, to a spot where he can video the conference attendees. He spots Modeski and films her, then spots his buddy Timmy, who's supposed to be in the desert learning to shoot. Jimmy makes a noise and Timmy turns and spots Jimmy, who backs away in fear. His feet pop out an air duct and he's caught by two bad guys. In walks Timmy, who tells Jimmy his time has come. Timmy searches Jimmy, then zaps him behind the right ear with a silver thingie.

Cut to the lobby, where Scully is just checking in. Byers and Langly meet her there and are trying to explain where Mulder is when EMT's and hotel workers dash by, one of them mentioning Jimmy's name. Byers and Langly take off after them, and Scully follows.

A hysterical bus driver keeps saying that the man just threw himself in front of her bus, and we look down to see that it's Jimmy. Scully: You know this man? What's going on here?

Cut to Frohike entering Suzanne's room and doing a quick search. He pulls a cover off of the air vent to insert a video camera and finds one already in place. He quickly grabs the tape and tries to leave, but Suzanne enters the room. Frohike hides while she changes, and listens as she answers the door. It's Byers, who tells her he's here to rescue her. She says thanks but no thanks and that things have changed. Byers tells her that his friend has been killed. She tells him that she's not in danger, reveals that Ellis is her fiance and closes the door in Byers' face.

As she turns on her bath water we see the ceiling vent slowly close above her, Frohike has escaped. As Byers walks away from her room, Frohike's duffel falls on his head and he quickly follows. Showing Byers the tape, he says, "That Suzanne is a popular girl."

Cut to an autopsy room, Scully asking Langly if he's certain he wants to view the autopsy of his friend Jimmy. Legend: Clark County Morgue.

As Scully works, Langly gets greener and greener. Scully begins the Y-incision and that's about it for Langly. She asks him to hand her the Stryker-saw and that about does it for him. He grabs it, hands it to her and dashes for the nearest sink. Over his retching sounds, Scully asks if he's ok, then bends to pick up the saw. As she rises, notices a mark on Jimmy's neck. Before she can look closer, she's grabbed from behind by Timmy and snick! gets zapped in the neck by the silver injector thingie.

Act III

Over his own retching sounds, Langly hears a thud and comes to investigate, finding Scully out cold on the floor. He helps her up, and guesses that she "got a little queasy and took a header. You know, blood and guts can bother some people."

A dazed Scully, "Yeah, I guess."

"Are you going to be all right?"

She looks back and up at him, "Sure, cutie."

Scully looks tanked and begins to try to push the table. "How do you roll this thing?" Langly is confused by the lack of response to his questions and says, "Uhh, Scully. What.... killed him?"

"My medical opinion?" She smoothes her hair down, then places her hand about a foot apart, palms facing each other. "Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" and SMACK!! claps her hands together loudly. Still trying to push the locked autopsy table, she slowly slides to the floor.

Cut to TLG's room where Langly reports to the guys that "Jimmy squished himself." Frohike asks after the "scrumptious Agent Scully?" and Langly says she had something she had to do and that she must be seriously jet-lagged.

Frohike plays the tape he found and they're interrupted by Suzanne walking in on them. She explains just how she knows Ellis. Langly and Frohike head to the casino while Suzanne tries to set things straight with Byers. Byers tells her of his friend and Suzanne reveals that she and Ellis have been working to expose the government and that they were going to use this convention to try to escape. Suzanne tells Byers that she really wanted the person who rescued her to be him but it was Grant. She eventually grew to trust him and agreed to marry him.

Down in the casino, Frohike tells Langly that if he unleashed his "true Kung Fu on this casino he could rake it in." Timmy invites Langly up for a game of D&D to eulogize Jimmy. Over the sounds of the crowd Frohike hears the sound of Scully's laughter. He approaches a crowd of men gathered around her, and finds her the laughing center of attention.

"Scully?"

"Oh, hey Hickie, long time no see!" A seemingly intoxicated Scully is offered a cigarette by Morris Fletcher, which she seductively takes with her teeth. When she complains she doesn't have a match, the circle of men light up and she sighs and "can't decide who lights my fire." That's it for Frohike and he snatches the cigarette from her mouth, saying, "That's it. All right, you dandy's, BACK OFF! This is Special Agent Dana Scully of the FBI. If you so much as TOUCH her, you may be committing a Federal offence. C'mon Scully."

As she passes Morris he tells her "We could have been stardust." She tells him "Maybe next time and slaps his butt as she passes, Frohike hauling her away from the group.

Upstairs, Langly realizes he's been set up and finds Timmy and two suits waiting for him.

In TLG's room Modeski and Byers are reviewing the tape when Frohike and Scully come in. Gesturing to a giggling Scully, Frohike tell them, "I found Agent Scully-go-lightly holding court in the bar." She plops down on the bed, still giggling.

Modeski is shocked and begins to search Scully's hairline. Scully finds this a great game, giggles and says hi to Modeski, then tries to tickle her belly. Modeski finds the puncture point from the injector and figures out that what Scully's been given was the experimental drug she and Ellis brought with them. Only the two of them had access to it. Through it all Scully is hysterical, laughing and giggling, but trying to take the conversation seriously. She makes a "sad" face when Modeski realizes that Ellis has betrayed her.

Cut to Modeski injecting green stuff into Scully to counteract the drug while Langly enters the room. Scully greets him with a "Hey cutie" and pouts when the needle goes in. She looks like a little kid for a minute then flops backward onto the bed.

Frohike wants to know why the government would want to turn Scully into a bimbo. Modeski reveals that the drug is designed to make someone highly suggestible. They figure out that that's how Jimmy died, someone told him to "pancake" himself and told Scully to forget her autopsy findings. End with Langly scratching the spot he now wears from his own dose of the stuff.

Act IV

Opens with Langly reporting to Timmy for his instructions. He's told to assassinate someone at precisely 10:15 am and is given a gun. He enters the conference room, waits for the break, then makes his way through the crowd and fires three shots at Suzanne Modeski.

Outside, Scully tries to get past the guard and both are surprised by the sound of gunshots. She and the guard race in to find Suzanne covered with blood and Ellis stunned by the whole thing. Scully calls for help and upstairs Byers and Frohike are the EMT's that respond. They take Modeski out and Scully escorts Ellis out and upstairs. Timmy suspects something and reaches down to taste the blood on the floor.

Upstairs, Scully pulls Ellis into a room where Suzanne, alive and bloodstained is standing at the window. She confronts Ellis and reveals that she was lucky she thought to check Langly for injection marks. She pulls off her bloodstained shirt to reveal "blood-cells", explosive packets designed to look like gunshot wounds. She accuses him of betraying her and asks why her life was saved. Ellis protests and says it wasn't his idea that she be killed. He tells her that they gave him his life if he would betray her. Timmy enters the room and shoots Ellis.

Cut to the TLG, in the process of deleting all references to Modeski. A knock sounds and Frohike goes to let in Byers "little chickadee". He tells her "C'mon in, Mata Hari" and doesn't see Timmy entering with her. Timmy goes to shoot Suzanne and knocks out Byers when he interferes. "You know the best thing about killing you three? I won't have to dress like you any more." Before he can shoot Byers jabs him in the leg with the injector and the guys give him a suggestion.

Cut to a shot of Timmy on a TV screen in Scully's room with a news anchor reporting that he's confessed to the murders of Ellis and Modeski. Scully is on her cell talking with Mulder. She figures out that he's still in DC and knew nothing about her trip to Vegas. "What do you mean you didn't call me? Oh man, I am going to kick their asses."

Cut to exterior of hotel where Byers tells Modeski that "Suzanne Modeski is dead, this is who you are now." He hands her a piece of paper with a new identity. She asks him to come with her. For a minute he looks tempted then tells her she'd be safer without him. She's not to go public with the information she has, he and TLG will take care of it. She kisses him and leaves the ring she'd gotten for Grant Ellis with Byers.

TLG walk back to the hotel.

Langly: "You know Byers, growing old with us ain't so bad."

Frohike: "Oh Shuddup Langly. You really want him to kill himself?"

The end.


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