Rape and Sexual abuse does not end when the physical act ends, without help people walk around with the horror,  sometimes their whole life Most of the time not even realizing that there in denial,  heading for trouble.  It is important to get help. I have been in therapy this time for four years,  Yes I'm better,  but I'm not there yet. Without this therapy, I would have continued my robotic
existence.  To the outside world I am doing great, I have a good job, I’m a good wife, and mother but I have some very disturbing things going on in my life, I have a weight problem, and I walk around scared and have flashbacks all the time. I’m prone to depression, and I’m always up-tight,  just to name a few.  I constantly walk around with the silly notion that I made this all up. I cannot continue thinking this way,  I have come to Realize that I do not need to remember each and every detail of what I experienced.  That need I had inside is gone.  I Realize that the details won't make it more believable to me.  I think it is so much easier to believe that I made this up,  that I must have made this up,  especially since this kind of thing only happens to other people!!!!!.  Most of the time I am on the right tract but now on my  bad days,  I say over and over again to myself I did not make this up until it sinks in,  because I finally  do believe it,  but sometimes I need a  little extra help in reminding myself. I urge you to get help, so you can live your life without giving your abusers anymore power!!!!!  Unfortunately there are tens of thousands of men and woman out there who have been sexually abused.  I wish I could reach out to each and every one of them,  but unfortunately I can't so it is important to find someone who can.  Alone is such a cold word.  No one should have to be alone with sexual abuse.  Reach out to someone you know,  they just might reach back
 

    I have been both raped and sexually abused.  The aftermath is a nightmare. Sometimes you don’t even  really truly understand the impact it has on your life, until you start to heal. You must remember that you are not alone unless you choose to be alone. Reach out for someone. A Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Friend, Teacher, Therapist or anyone who will listen.  Being alone only enforces the dumb notion that we tend to have, that we somehow brought the rape or sexual abuse upon ourselves, and that there is something to be ashamed of.  You owe it to yourself to try and heal. The only way to heal unfortunately, is a process that has a lot of up's and downs. It’s not an easy road and it is a long road but the light at the
end of the tunnel is right up ahead.

Below is the brochure I made up, and had copywritted. You can download it in it's
original format by using   Please download Acrobat  by clicking on the Get Acrobat then follow the directions on downloading acrobat reader. Then you can download the brochure by clicking on the box below
 

I Realize Brochure

I realize that the rape and or sexual abuse were not my fault, I did not ask
for It nor did I want it or enjoy it. I was a victim of a crime. IT WAS NOT MY
CRIME IT WAS THE ABUSERS!!!

I realize this is not my dirty little secret, I did nothing wrong!!!!!

I realize that in order to heal,  I must take the power back from my abusers

I realize I have Nothing to be ashamed of

I realize that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, Sometimes you have
to learn to forgive yourself

I realize that when I was abused as a child, I did not tell because my abuser told me not to, and since he was an adult I listened. I was afraid he would say I liked it

I realize that going thru the process of therapy is not an easy process but
one that is crucial,  to be able to move ahead

I realize that this is the worse thing that has ever happened to me, I must accept
that, own it and heal from it

I realize that the therapist can tell you certain things and you should listen,
because they have dealt with people's reactions before and we are all similar
in certain aspects

I realize that what I went through was horrible,  but  IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE,  it could always be worse

I realize it’s not what things I have in my life, but who I have in my life

I realize my body reacts to all bodily functions,  which is normal

I realize I did not face this then, so I must face this now

I realize I will survive this,  I have already survived the hardest part

I realize it's time to stop shutting everyone out

I realize I had NO control over what happened to me

I realize that I will always have bad days,  but I will have less and less of them as I heal

I realize that sometimes I can only take it five minutes at a time, that's ok, there is no rush, no timetables, and no have to’s

I realize my expectations for dealing with things in my life are much too harsh, since nobody could live up to those high expectations I should not expect myself to either

I realize that even though what I went through was horrible, it is still all I have known for most of my life, so I am a bit afraid to heal and not have it in my life

I realize I have a right to be able to look good if I’d like to, that does not make me more prone to another rape, and there was nothing I could have done to stop the rape from happening, nothing at all

I realize that I am not going crazy, my reactions to things are normal

I realize that beating myself up all the time, about things I had NO control over is just a waste of my time

I realize I have the right to try and find happiness

I realize I am a good person, not bad like my abuser said I was

I realize that it is very important to find the right therapist to help you in your journey. The wrong therapist can be worse than not having one at all. It’s your life,  if the therapist does not help you,  the way you feel you need help , get another therapist

I realize I have the right to be angry, but I don't have a right to be cruel to those I love

I realize that if you say no it should mean no,  but sometimes your no goes
unheard,  That's because they have chosen not to hear you,  not because
you did not say it loud enough

I realize you can keep on going long after you think you can’t

I realize it takes years to build up trust and seconds to destroy trust

I realize I need to like myself, and not to think negative thoughts about myself

I realize I am who I am because of what I’ve been through, and that’s a good thing

I realize only I can help myself, but it’s ok to reach out for help,  I should not cut
myself off from people

I realize I am not dirty because of things that were done to me,  that my body
reacted to

I realize I cannot control when I get my memories, they will come when I’m ready

I realize the harder I try to keep the lid on the bigger the pop when the lid pops of

I realize that I can’t blame myself for the way my body reacted, when sexual things were done to me that I did not ask for
 
 
 

Remember above all else—You did not make this up,  and you did not ask
for it,  nor did you like it.!!!!!!!!!

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