I saw 13th Warrior last Friday.
It's one of the most random movies I've ever seen. Basically, an
Arab poet makes a pass at a vizier's mistress and is appointed
ambassador to far away lands (Russia, apparently) to get rid of
him.
Said Arab poet then runs into some Vikings on the Don River, and
is drafted as the thirteenth warrior to rid the Vikings' homeland
of an evil whose name must not be spoken.
The fighting is subpar. The story is sluggish and not
particularly convincing or compelling. And the "evil"
which must be fought is never clearly identified. Highlight below
to find out what the "evil" in question is:
The evil raiders are Neanderthals.
Apparently this is clearer in the Michael Crichton book on which
the script is based ("Eaters of the Dead"), but here
the word "Neanderthal" is never stated, because the
word simply didn't exist at the time. Which I think is stupid. I
was *wondering* if the bad guys were Neanderthals, but I wasn't
sure. Would it really have been such a terrible anachronism for
someone to have said, "The Gauls have a word for them... Nee-Ander-Tall"?
Come on-- don't make us read reviews to find out what the fuck is
going on.
Anyway, I can't particularly recommend it. On the other hand, it
wasn't a bad movie. It was somewhat diverting and doesn't
insult your intelligence.
It's just a little undercooked.
And for anybody who's THINKING of seeing the movie, highlight
below for what I believe is a NECESSARY "spoiler":
The "evil" in question is not
supernatural; don't go in expecting this is a fantasy. It's a
Crichton science/anthropology "what if" movie.
Further, anyone thinking of seeing the movie should probably
click on my spoiler in the last post, because the "spoiler"
there is really necessary if you're going to understand what the
hell is going on (the film never explains it; you have to read
the book to get it). And it isn't MUCH of a spoiler anyway.
Response to Review
