the problem with america is that there are too
many soft cushy malls into which ugly hairy movies are screened.
on the other hand, sometimes an ugly hairy movie is so much fun
you forget that you are in a mall.
where did batman go terribly wrong? why was
spawn such a yawn? well, cinematically speaking, my explaination
might not suffice, but i know this much: whoever made 'blade' got
it right. down to the last edit. i am digging into my black boots
to come up with raving superlatives kiddies. this movie is not
only the bomb, it is the shockwave, the flying glass and the
crunching concrete and steel. i have never felt so cool driving
my own chrome-rimmed black eurosedan pumping bass, as just after
seeing 'blade'. the charge of coolness lasts long after the final
credits. i'm going to see it again. and probably again too.
when i saw passenger 57, it was at a midnight
show off times square with a packed house of nightcrawling action
hounds. i'm wishing to be with just such a rowdy crowd for the
next screening of blade, because wesley snipes has just outdone
himself. yeah he was bad in p57, and i could dig his simon
phoenix badass, but neither of these characters matches the
ferocious intensity of blade. blade is pure focus, absolute fury
and lethal precision. all that and black leather, silver
hollowpoint bullets and a titanium pig sticker. ouch! bite me,
terminator.
plot is satisfactorily straigthforward, never
lurching off too far. but the action. oh mercy jesus this man can
fight. the effects are seamless and never overblown - car chases
are speedily goofed up for effect, the clouds and ominous music
are done just right, the 'america is fucked up' is left out of
the picture, there are enough asians in the movie to remind you
that asians are left out of movies, and there is enough mayhem to
satisfy appetites for destruction without overdoing it. it's
funky and hip. i'm even thinking about grabbing the soundtrack.
in other words this is an absolute first class action flick and
it hits just the right balance.
so, what's not to like? well for one thing, you
never get the impression that blade can lose. the bad guy in this
flick, sneered by what i suppose is the coolest of the new
looking evil dudes, is no physical menace. we know he's up to
something evil, but we never get a first hand look at his
cold-blooded capabilities. he just pisses off all the fogie
vampires because he parties all night, wears trashy fashions and
smokes like leonardo dicaprio. he talks about taking over the
world, but we don't see him setting bosnians off against each
other. on the whole, he doesn't seem any more superhumanly bad
than your average noriega. he doesn't even smack his bitch up.
nevertheless, dorff's deacon frost does employ
a buttload of crack troops always on the move in a relentless
persuit of blade. they all end up fodder in a flurry of
incredible martial arts stunts and fabulously violent deaths. but
of course blade must be hobbled by babeage, in this case, the
smart and somewhat vulnerable n'bushe wright who gets to
participate in various girl-fights peppered through the flick.
still, in all. this is the best action flick
since, hmmmm. total recall. i give it a 93%.
(hey, there's only one way to enjoy action
flicks, at the same gut level at which guys like me enjoy playing
tackle football. after a long day of selling software, it
provides an excellent balance in restoring animal nature.)
i just read the salon review of blade. poor
slob called it an unconscionable good time. fact of the matter is
that it was a fucking good time, but you really can't say that
when you have a byline at a respectable webzine. other than that
we pretty much agree, this is really what you go to see action
films for - action.
