the latest from the marriott spectravision network:
i saw 'the big hit' - yet another in *that* genre: you know,
insane gunbattles and campy wit.
it starts off predictably enough, but i was so busy gaping at the
credits and kicking myself for not seeing it in the theatres, i
didn't realize that it was already tired before it got started.
nevertheless, there is a foursome of marky mark, lou diamond
phillips, bokeem woodbine and some other buff genxer in
overworked modern ninja gear flexing and cracking wise in what's
supposed to be the deadpan argot of professional (and bored)
modern day assassins. already i'm pining for mickey rourke,
dennis rodman and jean claude van damme.
but, you know me. always ready to drain the brain and enjoy
stylized violence. and since john woo is a producer, i figure
it's got to be at least as good as 'the replacement killers'. and
in it's own twisted mtv's real world meets 'reservoir dogs' it
does. still, i do expect to laugh and although i get a chance to
crack up a couple times, some of the situations are simply not
comic enough.
on a storyboard, how can you resist the idea of a sensitive new
age assassin who falls in love with a kidnapee who looks like
sailor moon? what's not to like about a golddigging girlfriend
who steps, while smooching and wheedling about her unpaid jaguar
note, into a hefty bag with half a hacked-up body, and then
remarks "he's kinda cute, who was he?" who wouldn't up
the buck for a film that delivers two pistolled bungee jumping
and a hit-man who extols the virtues of masturbation all over a
ultra-funky soundtrack?
well, you get the picture. i already watched it. and for the most
part, i'm glad i did. but you do have to suffer through a
buttload of jewish jokes, suburban jokes, a stuttering d.j. and
an unconvincing rip-off of the old 'we have a rat in our midst'
baseball bat scene by il capo - even though it's done by a very
cool avery brooks.
by the way. marky mark *really* sucks as an actor. woodbine is
wasted, and phillips' role should have gone to john leguizama.
i split my vote here - 85% for content, 65% for execution.
