Next Best Thing

Reviewed by: Cellar Door

February 28, 2000

Return

Well I saw "The Next Best Thing." Could I have the thing after that? Like "Isn't She Great?" It's another Bad-Good-Idea. Rupert gets Madonna pregnant in a just-one-of-those-things moment. She decides to keep the child and he embraces fatherhood with a passion that would put Dan Savage to shame. Rupert Everett as a Daddy -- what a dream come true. And for the first half-hour "Next" looks like it's going to be what a Rock Hudson Doris Day comedy might have been like if Rock had been out. Then Madonna meets Julia Roberts' boytoy Benjamin Bratt (moderatelyhumpy, not Cellar's type but wouldn't throw him out of bed), quabbles with Ruert and decides to raise the kid with her new love. Soon we're in court and the film turns into "Kramer vs. Madonna." Gack! The minutes fly by like hours as Rupert trundles around with a permanent hang-dog expression. Gone is the fizz of the first half -- which featured cameos by Gavin Lambert, George Axelrod, and a swimming scene with Mo (Rupert's black labrador retreiver.) If thee's anything the moviegoing public doesn't need it's the gay version of "Madame X." Especially from the director of "Darling," "Sunday Bloody Sunday," "The Day of the Locust," and "An Englishman Abroad."