Well I saw "The Next Best Thing." Could I have the
thing after that? Like "Isn't She Great?" It's
another Bad-Good-Idea. Rupert gets Madonna pregnant in a just-one-of-those-things
moment. She decides to keep the child and he embraces fatherhood
with a passion that would put Dan Savage to shame. Rupert Everett
as a Daddy -- what a dream come true. And for the first half-hour
"Next" looks like it's going to be what a Rock Hudson
Doris Day comedy might have been like if Rock had been out.
Then Madonna meets Julia Roberts' boytoy Benjamin Bratt (moderatelyhumpy,
not Cellar's type but wouldn't throw him out of bed), quabbles
with Ruert and decides to raise the kid with her new love. Soon
we're in court and the film turns into "Kramer vs. Madonna."
Gack! The minutes fly by like hours as Rupert trundles around
with a permanent hang-dog expression. Gone is the fizz of the
first half -- which featured cameos by Gavin Lambert, George
Axelrod, and a swimming scene with Mo (Rupert's black labrador
retreiver.) If thee's anything the moviegoing public doesn't need
it's the gay version of "Madame X." Especially from the
director of "Darling," "Sunday Bloody Sunday,"
"The Day of the Locust," and "An Englishman Abroad."
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