The Cell

IndianaJones

February 4, 2001

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Watched The Cell and Beyond the Clouds

The Cell--starring Jennifer Lopez, Vince Vaughn, and Vincent D'Onofrio--pretty much sucked. First-time director Tarsem Duamdwar supposedly developed his directorial chops in the music video arena, and he should stay there. Lots of stunning visuals, but a painfully gruesome movie with little compensation for the trauma of entering the mind of a serial killer (just as likely the mind of Duamdwar, who one assumes dreamed up this mess).

Well, it wasn't as bad as Beyond the Clouds in terms of sheer time-waster, but only a misogynist should find this film enjoyable. And if anyone is hoping for eroticism because of Jennifer Lopez, forget it unless your idea of titillation involves seeing Vincent D'Onofrio hook chains to his flesh so he can dangle nude over the cloroxed corpse of his latest drowned victim. Considering the uproar the novel American Psycho caused just a few years ago, that The Cell passed with but a yawn shows we've come along way, baby.

BTW, the DVD filmography shows by my count D'Onofrio making 42 movies in about the last 15 years. And he still had time to land Greta Scaachi.

What a man...