|
What did I expect, you ask. Fair enough. But I
expected some things, and I did not receive them. I expected high
production values. Instead, the entire film - an update of
Dangerous Liaisons, with monied prep school Manhattanites in the
roles of French courtesans - was shot at maybe one estate and at
one apartment building, giving it a decidedly cheezy feel. I
expected television's Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Sarah Michelle
Gellar) and/or Reese Witherspoon to get naked. They did not. I
expected camp. I was denied. I expected decent music, but the
soundtrack is overrepresented by moaning techno bands with
pitiful whiny male singers. I expected that when angry characters
ripped off the sheets of beds containing their love interests and
a third party, those in the beds would not be wearing underwear.
I did not expect to see the most cringe-inducing courtship in
film since Lily Tomlin and John Travolta had a hot tub scene in
Moment by Moment. But the Ryan Phillipe (as Valmont) and Reese
Witherspoon love story beats it hands down. Phillipe, tasked to
deflower the chaste Witherspoon (she is the daughter of the
headmaster), becomes "totally infatuated" with her. Why?
Because she makes him laugh. How? Because during a car ride, she
made faces at him by sticking her tongue out and screwing her
nose up and using her fingers on the top of her head to simulate
the look of a horned creature.
After this execrable scene, by necessity, Witherspoon and
Phillipe married in real life.
|
