I'm sick this weekend, so, hell, why not? I
rent "Lost in Space," "Hope Floats" and
"Character." I only watched "Lost in Space."
Bad choice. In the first few minutes, Matt LeBlah of
"Friends" flies about the stars in his fighter,
shooting down the bad guys and showing what a tough jock he is.
He says:
"Rock and roll."
"I got your back buddy."
"Let me give you a little kiss here. Don't take it the wrong
way" (as he taps his space ship into that of another).
"Last one to kill a bad guy buys the beer."
"You didn't think I was going to let you off of buying the
beer that easy, did you?"
LeBlah is then teamed up with the Robinson
family (William Hurt, Mimi Rogers, Heather Graham, a little girl
and a little boy). Gary Oldman travels with them and soon, they
are lost . . . in space.
The theme, like every theme of the Spielberg
era, is predictable. Daddy Robinson (Hurt) has been busy working
to save the planet (it will become uninhabitable in twenty years)
at the expense of his children (Waaaaaaah! Daddy doesn't have
time for me). The movie is devoted to the proposition that the
world is not worth saving if Hurt cannot spend some time with his
dorky children. Small comfort to the rest of the world, but there
you have it.
The script is hackneyed, to the point of
self-parody. It also makes absolutely no sense, delving into time
travle and parallel worlds with the precision of a cleaver. And
in the midst of the confusion, a little creature is introduced,
clearly a sop to marketing. They don't even bother. It just shows
up and says "Buy me! $29.99."
And they neutered Mimi Rogers by giving her a
Marilyn Quayle hairdo.
The film is insidious.
