Tomb Raider

Jamie R

June 18, 2001

Return

Just saw Tomb Raider. It was certainly not bad in the way (say) Godzilla or Twister were bad, but I was surprised by how little the movie effected me. Call me simple, but smart gorgeous women kicking ass in slo-mo really works for me. That's an easy sell. I've seen The Long Kiss Goodnight umpteen times. But this movie left me mostly bored.

Part of the problem was the direction, which was pure MTV. It's very hard to be thrilled by an action sequence when you cannot tell what the hell is going on. In the first big sequence I got bored and started timing the length of the shots. I never got to even two seconds. Can we have an establishing shot please?

Also the characters seemed too cool for their own fantasy world. The wonder of it all never seemed to really register for them. There's one scene (no spoilers) where something wildly improbable happens, something utterly inexplicable by any of the known laws of physics, and without even pausing to register a "now that doesn't happen every day" Croft grabs a weapon and starts whacking away. Maybe she's as bored with CGI as I am.

I'm also not sure I agree that Jolie is so perfectly cast for the part. She's great fun to watch when she's being physical, and she has an amazingly expressive face when it's actually expressing. But the role requires her to spend most of her time in cool expressionless mode and that is not good for her. When Clint Eastwood does the cold stare of death I understand that there's barely restrained mayhem in the offing. When Angelina Jolie tried for the same thing I was honestly just thinking "my god, those are some big lips."

Nonetheless, on the very rare occasion when she was permitted a lifted eyebrow or half a smile, or heavens a laugh, she was immensely charming. I've resolved to try and catch her in something not involving Winona Ryder. Maybe my video store has Gia.

Oh, and I hope there's a special place in hell for these writers who feel the need to give every female hero a daddy-complex. Blech.