Little Boy Blue

Reviewed by:Phoenix Risingr

June 7, 1999

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Forgive me Father, for I have sinned....

I rented and watched a really stupid piece of trash over the weekend titled, Little Boy Blue. I knew it would be trash. I was prepared for it to be trash. It was trash.

But I was not disappointed one little bit. The film featured a full three minutes of Ryan Phillipe's naked ass. God, can that boy's ass act! Poetry in motion is the best way to describe it.

The story: Ryan is kidnapped as a baby by a psycho Viet vet who got his dick shot off in Nam. The psycho murders Ryan's father, but spares his mother and steals the VW bus. Ryan is raised by the psycho and his wife. Ryan thinks that they are his real parents. Ryan comes of age. The dickless psycho gets his kicks by making Ryan fuck his mother. Ryan fathers two children who he thinks are his brothers and doesn't realize they are really his sons. Ryan sneaks around and spys on the psycho. He discovers the guy has no dick. The psycho goes psycho and tells Ryan he is really the father of his "brothers". Ryan freaks. The psycho freaks and Ryan disappears. Ryan's real mother comes to town and blasts the psycho and Ryan's other mother with a shotgun. The town cop kills Ryan's real mother. Ryan is discovered tied up in an underground bunker underneath the junked VW bus. The end.

Do you suppose I can get away with a few dozen Hail Marys and a couple hundred Our Fathers? Or must some real penance be required here?