Jurassic Park 3

RubberDucky

July 20, 2001

Return

i also got in a viewing of Jurassic Park III last night.

what can i say? how do you screw up cool looking dinos chasing / eating plucky humans? well, they found a way. throw in an inconceivably bad drippy family drama with even worse acting!

this was worse than II in my opinion. when not sidetracked into a will-they-won't-they-who-the-fuck-cares relationship question with Wm H Macy and Mulder's wife, it is a complete retread of the first two movies. you can tell at the beginning who is gonna get killed, some damn kid who is smarter than all the adults combined, and (when not showcasing the same ole Jurassic Park branded dinosaurs) brand new, never-before-seen, dinos with zero explanation of how/why they are even there. and, if i have to see yet another close up of that lead archeologist raising his eyebrow under his Indiana Jones hat, i will literally scream.

what a complete waste of time. i'm glad Ripley got a free ticket, because i probably would have complained if both of us had to pay full price for this.

my advice: endure the yapping kids and pay for a matinee, that's the only way you'll come close to getting your money's worth.

1 quack out of 5 (it woulda been 2 except for a unbelievably stupid talking dino scene)