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My first 20 years of life were very lonely without many friends. I wore glasses and it seemed as if I was picked on by all the school bullies. I guess you could have called me the nerd in school, I usually got "A"s in school without trying. I did the normal things like Cub Scouts & Boy Scouts, attended Church and Sunday School. I played in the grammar school band and continued on in High School. I lived in the country on a farm. I had a step father who drank and would spank me for whatever reason he thought up. He actually beat me and told my Mom that he had spanked me and sent me to bed. I didn't tell my mom what had happened while she was at work. When she found out what was happening, she filed for divorce. There were other incidences that I never told her about. It began in the 1960's when no one listened to children who told stories of abuse; no one ever believed me or did anything about it. I never did learn to fight back, instead I learned how to suffer in silence. I was ill-equipped to deal with the bullies in school. The first time I ever fought back was when I was in high school. Another student taunted me and picked on me, and finally we were goaded into a fight by some of the other students present. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was so scared I was shaking. Someone told me to keep my eyes open no matter what and that was good advice to someone who was used to taking hits without complaint. We probably threw a total of ten punches between us, but they told me that I won - despite the fact that I had been hit in the face a few times and had the marks to show for it. I didn't feel as though I had won anything. I knew I would be suspended from school for three days for fighting on the school grounds. The principal called my Mom and she came to pick me up at the school, we met with the principal and since I had never been in trouble before I was able to return to school the next day.
At seventeen I tried to change my old life by joining the Air Force. That was the wrong choice for me to make at that time of my life, and I made it for the wrong reasons. I suffered more there than I had at home. After two years, I received an Honorable
Discharge and
returned home.
It was now 1979; I turned eighteen in September. Things were no better for me and I tried to get away once again by
moving to Las Vegas, Nevada. This didn't accomplish anything
for me either. I moved back home a few months later, around
May 1980.
I was trying to make a go of things - to start a better life. I made new acquaintances over the summer, but I really didn't know much about them. I had one friend who I hung around with, then he got married and did not have much spare time. This left me to find new friends. I met some new people and I assumed they were good people because others said they were. I was wrong to assume so much. Little did I know there were events about to unfold that would take a life and change a number of other lives forever. (Details)
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