Well, what can I say about myself? I try my best to do my best. I don’t appreciate any talent I might have though, and I am quick to judge anybody on their mistakes to make myself feel better. I find that laughing at everything makes it easier, kinda like laughing off boning your mom last night, although she was easy to begin with. Whooo! But seriously, I don’t really know what to say. I play the bass, trained on upright, semi-skilled at it, which makes it even more confusing as to how I manage to suck so much at electric. Oh well. My contributions to the band I hope will include updates to the website as much as possible, along with keeping everybody focused, unless I don’t want to work, which is actually often now that I think about it.

My hobbies include writing, sitting online with no real goal, but managing to learn something new, and watching TV. I also work a lot, but soon that will be changed with “going to school a lot.”

Not to begin with a painfully obvious rhetorical question, but what is there for me to really say about myself? What can anyone really say about themselves that won’t sound either a bit too modest or a bit too self-indulgent? Well, what say we start with this: I put the ‘The’ in ‘The Onion Armada’. Yea, that’s right. You heard me. Well... read me. Moving on.

I’m the drummer. Now, there are a lot of stereotypes about drummers being stupid, ugly, etc., and I’m not really sure how well I fit those, but I did have a guy come up to me and say I look like a drummer once, so I suppose that ought to say something. No really though, I’m looking at the drums here because the drums are the heart of a band, and on top of that I’m obsessed with hitting things with sticks, and we as a band figured it’d be better that I play the drums than become a blunt trauma homicidal maniac. Make sense? Good. I’ll also be doing my best to put something into the website, and replying to any fan mail I receive, as it only stands to reason that I would become a fan favorite band member. Oh, I’m also the ‘mysterious one’, or so they tell me, so if you want some of that action, I DON’T have a girlfriend, unlike Grant, so I’m all about getting ‘I wanna do you’ emails.

As for me as a person, all I can really say is that I am over-analytical on just about every aspect of life and society around me. Sometimes to an unhealthy degree, probably, but often in what I’d like to think is a fairly objective fashion. Interests include sociology, psychology, and things that give me access to various functions of those two topics... which really encompasses a lot, seeing as how damn near everything involves human interaction. I’m not so good with social interaction, however... primarily because topics that don’t give me something along those lines of interest will quickly bore me, and small talk seems to be a staple in this world that I am just unable to fully indulge in, if that makes any sense. I’m not stuck up or anything, just very focused, but I can enjoy a good stand around and bullshit session as much as the next guy, I just have to be in the mood. I guess that’s something else worth mentioning, I’m moody. I don’t mean bipolar moody, I just mean that I can have entirely different tastes, practically be a different person depending upon my mood. I also like to think I’m somebody special, even pre-Onion Armada, when I was just one of YOU people.

As for music, a topic that MUST be touched in an autobio for a band member, I love it. My favorite bands are of a wide variety, but the ones I’m primarily focused on these days are Eels, Weezer, Tenacious D, Beatles, Hendrix, Zappa, Led Zepplin... uhh... many others as well, but I’ll save the space. As for my opinion on the general idea of music, I also love it with a passion. Music, when done right (and very often done that way by several bands, Eels being a GREAT example) can touch parts of the heart and soul that even poetry can’t. It’s poetry set to music, and can drill deeper inside of you than most anything else created in our beautiful, twisted little society. Some people listen just for entertainment value, but it’s worth far more than that.

I also like to ramble about myself (although only when asked, really... I listen like a mo-fo), but before I turn this bio into an actual autobiographical novel, I’ll end it. THE END.