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Last Tuesday the Ubbergeneral of Swuddleland had declared a state of emergency. Someone had poisioned the Swuddle. All inbound and outbound Gateways have been closed as Swuddleland is bieng quarentined. However this lucky reporter found a hidden acient gateway which is long since been forgotten. I won't say where it is, but its not not in my dryer. While searching throughout Swuddleland I interviewed several Witnesses who claim to have Information on the subject. The first, Johnny llama a VERY swuddly llama, who claims that he saw a suspicious looking muskrat chewing on a stinky old boot near the Sacred Fountain of The Swuddle 3 weeks before the Poisioning occured. He also said that if Computers were actually humans then they could probably talk. His testimony has since been discredited as it was later discovered that he was drunk on his own urine. The second was a Policeman. who once lived in Swuddlegrala (the home of The Sacred Fountain Of The Swuddle) he said its 3 days past Swuddlesvile take a left, then 3 more days till you reach Swuddleton and then half a bees stinger towards the 19th sun. He too was drunk on his own urine. Finally a reliable source was found a woman who claimed to see a gimpy man with a yellow labrador. He at first looked like a flasher from the nearby country of Heantailand. A border officer stopped one such suspicious character named Mr. Smylie who claims to have been humping his dog molly in hentailand at the time however there is nobody to verify this authorities for swuddleland believe he is still in swuddleland as there is no record of him going back across the order into the enemy terrority of hentailand if you see him be careful as he is extremely horny and losery. So please contact the authorities. Meanwhile the death toll has increase 34,000 people have died of swuddle poisoning in swuddleland and earth as of today the only countries unaffected are india japan and russia.
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