The 100 Facts Of Sex
1. When a woman sees a man's penis, she immediately places
her mouth on it. All men have dicks at least 9 inches long and 3 inches wide.
2. Women's panties become soaked with moisture at the
slightest suggestion of sex.
3. All women love to swallow.
4. Men and women always cum at the same time during sex.
5. Premature ejaculation? Never!
6. Babysitters are the luckiest people on the face of the
earth.
7. School teachers and college professors are the second
luckiest people on the face of the earth.
8. Women really have the best (or full) orgasms only from
phallic intercourse.
9. When a husband finds that his wife has been cheating on
him, he is more turned on than angry.
10. When a woman finds that her husband wants to watch her f*ck
other men, she thinks it a swell idea.
11. Pool boys/gardeners/groundskeepers are the third luckiest
people on the face of the earth.
12. A girl's first date leads to her first kiss before ending
with her first f*ck.
13. Every woman, no matter what age, has perfectly trimmed or
shaved pubic hair.
14. Kids leave the doors to their rooms open while they
masturbate. Parents leave their doors open while they have sex.
15. No one ever smells bad, even after having sex on a
cum-soaked mattress for umpteen hours.
16. All men can consistently deliver 8-10 thick blasts of
semen.
17. All black guys are extremely well hung.
18. All women produce amazing amounts of "juice"
that either flows down their legs or drips from their pussy like a leaky faucet.
And they never dry out, even after hours of non-stop sex.
19. Newspaper carriers (both boys and girls) are the fourth
luckiest people on the face of the earth.
20. Any woman can deep throat any man no matter how long he
is.
21. Forty-year-old divorced guys have no trouble scoring with
large-breasted 18-year-old girls.
22. Forty-year-old divorced women have large-breasted
18-year-old bodies.
23. Women cum about 20 times from straight missionary f*cking.
24. Oral sex is the only way to wake your lover up.
25. The wife has a secret stash of "toys" the
husband has no clue about.
26. Anal sex requires very little preparation time. Even the
first time.
27. Married men love fantasizing about their wives having sex
with other men, and they will jump at the chance to let that fantasy come true.
28. A woman whose male lover has spurned her will invariably
be a dyke by the end of the story.
29. Who needs condoms?
30. Young males get hard almost immediately after ejaculation
(if the indeed lose erection at all) and are able to perform on multiple women
(i.e. their own mothers and the mother's three female friends).
31. If a woman has small breasts, she will always have dark,
pointy, otherwise amazing nipples.
32. She also makes up for her deficiency by having a tight
ass and a ravenous sexual appetite.
33. A backrub ALWAYS leads to something else.
34. If a married man's wife has a sister, the sister will be
a bombshell sexpot (more beautiful than his wife) who is just aching for a
chance to leap in the sack with him.
35. Anyone caught in the act of masturbation won't stop, but
will instead continue to completion.
36. Older men always prefer younger girls, no matter how
air-headed they may be.
37. Older women are desirable only to younger, teenaged
boys... but fortunately, those older women are more than willing to teach those
teenage boys how to do it right.
38. Parents routinely leave porn tapes and sex toys lying
around the house for babysitters and children to find.
39. Videos enhance sex. A sexually conservative
wife/girlfriend will immediately become an insatiable slut after watching a hot
tape.
40. No sexually active teenagers have zits.
41. If a guy has a female friend who's a stripper, he'll end
up backstage doing all her co-workers.
42. If a girl has a male friend who's a stripper, she'll end
up backstage getting gangbanged.
43. Long hair never gets in the way.
44. Your girlfriend's mum is a carbon copy of her daughter
and she's just as horny.
45. And your best friend's mum looks like a sex goddess and
hasn't had a good f*ck in years.
46. The guy can always stick it into the girl without missing
or fumbling, even the first time.
47. Even after drinking.
48. When visiting married friends not seen since high
school/college, you must first smoke pot and get a good buzz going before f*cking
your friend's wife in the ass while your own spouse wolfs down gallons of your
buddy's come like it was Diet Coke.
49. Flashback mode seems to work best here.
50. Men never lose their erection in the middle of things.
51. Women always love having their nipples bitten right away,
while they're still warming up.
52. No one ever gets sore or cramp.
53. Women love laying there and getting pounded in the same
position for hours at a time.
54. Especially when taking on three, four, or ten guys in a
row.
55. All women love facials. Really.
56. The man's dick never accidentally slips out at the wrong
moment.
57. Women "never want a man as bad as this one."
58. A straight woman will go mad with ecstasy when a lesbian
eats her out.
59. Two or more high school girls left alone all weekend in a
big house will invariably engage in lesbian sex.
60. And when little sis complains about being left out, she
is immediately introduced to every sex act imaginable.
61. If you're a single male, visiting married friends will
involve your f*cking the wife while the husband f*cks you because, you know, it
just feels right.
62. All attractive women are insatiably bisexual.
63. But all "bisexual" women really want a man.
That's why two women having sex with each other will instantly drop everything
and pay all their attention to the man who just walked in on their scene.
64. All women have a secret longing to f*ck someone other
than their husband, so that they can finally see what a "real dick"
feels like.
65. All married men are under-endowed, and every wife cheats
with a man whose dick is twice her husband's size.
66. Husbands never raise an eyebrow when their wives leave
the house alone at night dressed in sexy stockings and a garter belt, and head
off to the bar.
67. No man ever has any objections when his wife comes home
from that bar and tells him how a stranger just f*cked her better than she'd
ever gotten it from her husband.
68. Instead of being mad, having just learned that his wife
cheated on him with another man, a husband will get more turned on than he's
ever been in his life and willingly suck the strange man's cum out of his wife's
pussy.
69. He will then begin planning her next night out where he
will be able to join her and maybe even get to watch her f*ck another strange
man.
70. If the husband decides to take part in the orgy involving
his wife, he will not actually participate in her adventures until after she's
been drenched in sperm by several men/eaten out by a wild lesbian/f*cked silly
by a total stranger.
71. If a wife is "lucky enough" to have a husband
who encourages her to have sex with another man, it only shows her how much he
loves her.
72. Only men who are already married themselves sleep with
another man's wife (presumably because their own wife is already having an
affair with another man).
73. Bosses routinely have sex with their married female
employees, with no fear of sexual harassment charges being filed.
74. Every woman desires sex with their boss.
75. After sex, no woman ever tries for advancement by bribing
her boss with the threat of going to his wife with details from their sordid
affair.
76. Never get married if you are not prepared to have your
wife cheat on you with another man, unless you yourself are willing to help her.
77. It is common practice for the groom's father and brothers
to "break in" his future wife, usually on the wedding day and almost
always minutes or at most hours before the ceremony.
78. When two couples swap partners for a night, both wives
prefer sex with the other woman's husband over their own.
79. A woman who has refused to swallow her husband's sperm
for 15 years will suddenly find herself overcome with the desire to do it for
another man who she just met.
80. When a woman wants to have an affair, she immediately
becomes very undiscerning and never worries that the person she finds in the bar
and f*cks minutes after meeting him might have a sexually transmitted disease.
81. Only married women looking to cheat on their husband go
to bars.
82. Only horny young guys who are looking for married women
are there to pick them up.
83. If a guy is lucky enough to peep at a woman through a
small opening (keyhole, hole in wall, gap between window shade and windowsill),
he will be treated to a full-blown peep show as the woman strips and
masturbates.
84. If the girl notices the man peeping at her, she will
smile and continue her strip-and-masturbation routine for him.
85. If the man and the woman are in locations physically
close to each other (adjoining rooms, for instance), she will then burst into
his room and force him to confess.
86. She will then f*ck him.
87. If the wife walks in while the father is f*cking his
16-year-old daughter, she will not get mad.
88. Instead she'll drops all her clothes and participate.
89. When mum/sis/aunt accidentally walks in on her
masturbating 16-year-old son/brother/nephew, she knows it's time to teach him
about sex.
90. She then calls him into her room.
91. She then asks him questions about his virginity.
92. She then f*cks him.
93. It never crosses mum's mind that screwing her son is
going to cause him problems in the future.
94. It's always her way of "looking out for him" or
"getting him ready."
95. When a woman first tastes cum, she immediately loves the
taste.
96. Pizza delivery boys are the fourth luckiest people on the
face of the earth.
97. Hospital patients are the fifth luckiest people on the
face of the earth.
98. If a big dog is mentioned in a story (even one that isn't
specifically "beastiality"), that dog will end up having sex with a
human female.
99. Horses are incredibly aroused by naked human females.
100. So are dogs.