"motherfucker! these pancakes are off the meter!"
what?
Who are the Flowers of Disgust?
A quartet of quadruplets from a small town in northern
Oklahoma. They got their first chance to steal the spotlight 10 years
ago, playing piano in saloons and whorehouses. There was never a
dry eye in the house.
What is the origin of Viking Barbershop Cyberthrash?
The genre of choice for the early Flowers of Disgust
albums, Viking Barbershop Cyberthrash has been credited to the late Professor
Erroneous Buttmoog. Although the beginnings of this popular genre
are perhaps forever lost in the mists of time, some things seem to be factual.
Professor Buttmoog was indeed a real-life person, a mathematician and biologist
with interest in music. By combining many musical styles, he created
the first work that could be classified as Viking Barbershop Cyberthrash,
The First Buttmoog Symphonette. This rare piece was a remarkable
work for the time, and Professor Buttmoog toured the country with his hand-picked
quartet, preforming at county fairs and opera houses from sea to shining
sea. This dedication to touring is continued with the Flowers, who
have claimed that "playing music for the common man.. really making it
accessable and understandable" is one of their top priorities.
What's the deal with the bees, anyhow?
If you aren't carefull, they can get in your pants.
What's the deal with Spice Girls, anyhow?
At some point or another, all four members of the
Flowers of Disgust has dated and/or slept with a member of the Spice Girls.
But that is really irrelevant -- you can't mature musically until
you pepper your albums with Spice Girl references. You must investigate
this deeply.
I bought ButtHouse, but it doesn't make any sense. It just
made me lose control of my bodily functions.
In a Chair is really, really long. Why didn't they make it
shorter?
Ok, then what is the smashing sound at the end of In a Chair (and
elsewhere on Secret Friends)?
A television falling two stories.
What about the crashing noise in ButtHouse?
All the band's instruments falling down the stairs for a second time.
Why is there a huge gap in the middle of Dance Song on Diggin' for
Gold?
The equipment was destroyed during recording. This isn't uncommon
-- the Flowers went through more microphones in the first two albums than
most bands see in their entire lifetime. Professor Buttmoog encouraged
this, claiming that the musician "should hate their instruments of melody
with a passion previously reserved for swarming bees. The instrument
is both an instrument of pleasure and tourture. You must investigate
this deeply."
Did the Flowers ever meet the good professor?
Unfortunately, Professor Buttmoog died long before the Flowers were
born. "Bloom of the Buttflower" and "Pride of the Buttflower" give
more insight into this sad situation. The spirit of Buttmoog lives
on in the music, however.
What do the backwards messages in Butthouse say?
Shit, I dunno. There are backwards messages?
Who is..
...Matt Noonan?
...Kyle Waugh?
Think of the guy you hate.
...Bradley Bailey?
Semi-mythical figure, rumored to have died long, long ago. From
Arthurian ledgend.
...J. Hunt?
It is unclear what J. Hunt's relation to the Flowers of Disgust is,
but he is credited on ButtHouse.
...Mark Beard?
Key figure of ButtHouse, Mark Beard is representative of Mankind losing
his connection to God.
...Jon Herring?
...Uncle Wiggly?
Small, well-dressed rabbit. Earned his modest riches through
dirty magazine sales.
...Mrs. Bonnie Winston?
Fictional character invented to make sly attacks on the US Postal System.
...Will Slade?
...Jeff Bergfalk?
Urban ledgend, often spotted in supermarkets, slinking through the
isles. He uses his superior intelligence to subtly mock you from
afar. Easily spotted due to a disproportionate cranium.
...the Soslands?
The Soslands are no more.
...Elliot Glenn?
He once was fat, but now he is thin.
...Honeythunder?
...Professor Bralley?
A friend of Professor Buttmoog, Professor Bralley helped him design
new and innovative instruments for creating Viking Barbershop Cyberthrash.
Integral to the formation of the genre.