04.30.03 BINARY STAR SYSTEM
i'm still mildly crushing on him (let's call him B), but i'm gravitating back to A (mr. december). no, no, i'm not in love, but you can see by my labels that i'm not interested in the whole per se, but in the parsed up individuals with key attributes.
these two are diametrically opposed, but equal in luminosity.aside: i'm having steamy-workday-sex-in-the-stairwell daydreams involving C, the tall drink of water across the hall. getting thirsty.
04.28.03 DOUBLE DUTY
old cabbagetown is particularly lovely in early summer.i've found a toronto equivalent of kingston's pan chancho: daniel et daniel, the gourmet take-out and bakeshop that manages to capture a bit of the parisian patisserie. i haven't eaten anything from there (yet), but i did buy a cheesecake brownie which ended up going to a panhandler instead of my thighs. two good things in one go!
04.25.03 VIGNETTE
in bed, she's flushed with rosy love and pleasure. propped on an elbow, he looks at her with contentment and a trace of smug pride. all she sees in his eyes is tenderness.
04.24.03 BE PREPARED
good things happen to me when i'm least dressed for it.
04.23.03 MELODRAMA
i dreamt about him again last night. i'm staying at a posh hotel where he's attending some sort of convention. there's a little flirting going on until i run into my ex. my ex and i get back together but i find myself hiding from him, and then i realize the truth: i really don't love him anymore. and so i go to find him only to have him accuse me of playing with his feelings. i end up losing both.cue music.
04.19.03 PHYSICS = LOVE THEORY
during an argument about magnetic forces, gravity, and other sundries of particle physics, my sister said that i was a black hole. on a semi-related tangent, here are my top 3 reasons why black holes don't have boyfriends:black hole-ness notwithstanding, the above shows why i'm alone.
- long-distance realtionships almost never work out. the horizon (the boundary past which you get pulled in by gravity) rules out any visits, never mind physical contact.
- they're extremely needy. once you're in, you're never let go.
- no one wants to date someone that is infinitely dense.
04.18.03 SHERYL CROW
i'm constantly listening to sheryl crow's "if it makes you happy", mostly for the opening bars. those guitar chords are so deliciously crunchy and satisfyingly yummy; they're the perfect breakfast cereal. i'd buy.
04.17.03 HATE BEING IN LOVE, LOVE BEING IN HATE
i'm quitting this 'love' nonsense. withdrawal symptoms unbearable at first, but have become much less so over time.i belong a long way from here. so what if right now everything's wrong?
04.15.03 SOFT-CORE
i'm addicted to macromedia dreamweaver mx. i used to code line by line with notepad, but now whenever i need to create or edit, it's automatically dreamweaver. it's made me lazy; i'm all about their easy one-click buttons, auto-complete drop-downs, built-in reference manuals, dual code/design views, cut-and-paste script snippets, and ooh, style sheets! i could go on and on. the only thing i don't like is their automatic end tags, which get annoying when i'm editing.dreamweaver is THE most eligible bachelor when it comes to html editing tools.
04.11.03 DOG DAYS OF SUMMER
the best time to be at work is on friday on a sunny, summer day. really; i kid you not. it's casual day, everyone's relaxed and operating at only a fraction of normal productivity. the close of day promises a warm, drinks-on-the-patio type of night at some old-school bistro followed by lingering kisses under the glimmering eye of sirius, the dog-star, while waiting for the streetcar.i'm thinking of that guy who is, quite literally, the man of my dreams. blondie said it best: i'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that. but when do i know to let go?
04.10.03 KISS ME, YOU FOOL!
i'd like to announce my intention in one of two ways:
unfortunately, this is what i'd like to do; i lack courage for either. what will happen instead is i will pine away and languish, unnoticed.
- "dear you,
i've got an enormous crush on you. with your permission, i'd like to see you with greater frequency.
sincerely,
me"- back him against a wall, grab him by the lapels, and proceed to ravish him. thoroughly.
04.08.03 NOTHING SAYS 'I LOVE YOU' LIKE VD
an excerpt from an e-mail john sent me: "Cory dumped me. And gave me facial herpes. All and all, a fulfilling relationship."
04.07.03 OPEN LETTER
this one i auto-filtered myself; i'm pleased, but still feel the need to say it. here goes:dear you,
for goodness' sake, if you're not interested in friendship or even passing acquaintance-ship, say so! of course, i'll be disappointed, but it's particularly cruel of you to leave me wallowing in the anxiety and self-doubt created by your silence.
sincerely,
me
04.03.03 ADDICT
i'm still dreaming about that guy. it's awful, especially when i get to kiss him because he's really, really, really good at it. it makes me crave the real thing.on an unrelated note: i have an interview for my overseas volunteer internship today! ukraine/poland or guatemala or brazil or russia, here i come! i'm taking a pass on jamaica.
04.02.03 BITTER PERSON IN TRAINING
i realize i've been rather blah as of late. work is simultaneously boring and busy, and drains me of energy both creatively and physically. nothing breaks your spirit like 8 hours in a fluorescent-lit room, staring at a monitor full of abusive e-mails that'll eventually cause some sort of anger mushroom cloud that obliterates all idiots that are dirtying up our gene pool.on the upside, i've learned to write back to irate jerks in a polite manner that nevertheless manages to convey my disdain of their inexcusable rudeness.
and on a random tangent, i love it when people greet me as 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous'. one person wrote back, "beautiful!". it took me a few minutes to realize he was talking about my work and not me. *sulk*
and on another random tangent, dammit, a pox! i'm a child of instant gratification. and no, not literally.