12.29.03 MC2
at the end of our exchange, we're supposed to write a report. i ask mike if he's done his.mike: ...and I finished that up this morning....woo woo, now gimme my money CWY!
and as a side note, mike takes great pleasure in pissing on my emotional crises.
ONLINE LD FUN
eduardo and i are on msn. we're talking about when he taught me to say, "afogar o ganso", which is the literal equivalent of "choking the chicken". this leads us through some bizarre sex by-ways, til i direct him to rotten.com, a site full of awful content that gave me nightmares.
e: yeah, it's really disgusting.
j: it's very strange.
e: oh, my! it's so fucking bizarre!
12.27.03 POTENTIAL
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well? jes_fung@hotmail.com
on other newsfronts, i can't wait for 2004. the old wanderlust is in full force; i'm hoping to go to turkey in may. out with the old, in with the new, i say!
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12.20.03 EDWIN-TYLER
for those wondering, this is whom the fuss is all about.
note: tyler hated the original photo i had up. this is a replacement. it's also clickable. as is this bit of pure hotness.
12.16.03 UM BARCO ESQUECIDO NA PRAIA
i'm back. the past six months seem unreal, like a suspended state of animation. it's also a bloody nuisance: getting to know people and places only to say goodbye is incredibly inconvenient. and! no one at home understands my inside jokes.
pega aqui teus porcaritos!
12.09.03 CLANDESTINE
i've got a secret that's bigger than i can carry. i'm weary and stalled. when it's out of sight, i can't go another step with an encouraging smile and so i sit, crying while jeremiah listens to jimmy swift band.
12.06.03 ETA
we're lying on the stairs, holding hands (he has good hands: compact, hard, fingers slightly shorter than mine; they're hands that betray integrity and hard work). i'm trying to absorb the details of him: the way he smells vaguely of apples, the lovely bump of the bridge of his nose, his breathing pattern. i tell him i'm happy that i met him. he likes this a great deal. he exhales, says he hasn't been this comfortable in a long time. that he feels at peace, that he could die right now and be okay with it.
12.05.03 THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE
i've written edwin-tyler a letter, a letter of all the things i couldn't get out in time or was too afraid to say. it got a little out of hand: it's become an exercise in design. they're gorgeous (i have 4).
EVA
eva has a bad habit of borrowing clothes and then not returning them. for example, she borrowed a pair of my socks at the beginning of july and didn't return them til the end of september. meh.
onward!eva borrows mike's toque. she already has 3, but asks mike anyway, and mike being the nice guy he is, lends it to her. he goes about fredericton in sub-zero weather for 3 weeks, repeatedly asking for its return. frustrated, he gets it back by yoinking it off her head and -- she's wearing another toque underneath.
mike: i can't believe how hard it was to get my toque back. i think i have a frickin' ear infection.
12.01.03 GO AWAY
mike and jeremiah: go away. NOW.
11.30.03 FIGHT!
i got my fight. i had a little brawl with chris, a big 200 lb. military guy. i got in two slaps to the head and a few scratches ('arg! she uses her nails!') before i was put into a submission hold. in return, received a few bruises and some upset shoulder ligaments. i chastised him for not cracking me across the face but he refuses to hit me.
lesson learned? it isn't a good idea to fight in a linen skirt unless modesty isn't an issue.
11.28.03 VICE/VIRTUE
| vice | virtue |
| cigarettes | buying drinks |
| impatience | |
| jealousy | |
| anger |
11.24.03 SMEEP? SOCO NA BOCA!
i've been emitting lots of strange noises at random. also, i want to fight. a real, down 'n' dirty, no-holds-barred brawl. this is getting worrisome. i think sanity is holding me back from the best things in life.
11.22.03 THAT MY LEX?
it's about 2 a.m., mike's walking me home. he's very drunk, i'm a little bit high. he's doing his dr. sbaitso thing and i nearly pee my pants. we're cutting across a bit of wooded area.
m: there's a little crick somewhere here. (step step step splash). oops.
j: (laughing so hard i can hardly breathe, legs clenched in gotta-pee stance) you okay?
m: yeah, i got waterproof shoes.
we jump across
m: man, are my pants dirty! and ugh, my feet are wet.
j: what? you have waterproof shoes.
m: no i don't.
j: you just said you did.
m: huh? (pause) wait, am i bragging about shoes i don't have?
11.21.03 OLD HABITS DIE HARD
sometimes it's surprising how you forget the fucked-up little pleasures of youth (especially angry youth).
11.19.03 BLISS
nick drake's 'which will' comes on and i stop in my tracks. hand lightly resting on my clavicle, my soul shivers and i've got goosebumps. a thrill starts where my hand is and undulates, wave-like, down my torso and through my limbs.
11.18.03 THUS SPAKE JEREMIAH
jes: i wonder how much unhappiness is self-made.
jeremiah: well for sure... it's when life doesn't meet our expectations.
which means changing our expectations or changing our life.... not just exisiting in some kind of depressed stasis where your lack of action contributes to a negative energy within a group.
11.17.03 ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DOLLAR
andrew and i are watching the discovery channel. there's a clip about whales, and some guy is cutting their bellies open.
j: wow, look at how easy it is. it's like they're made of butter.
a: yeah, i could do that. (pretending to talk to boss) that was easy. now gimme a dollar!
11.06.03 UTI
it's my birthday. and as an extra-special present, i got a UTI (urinary tract infection). nothing says fun like not being able to get piss-assed drunk on your birthday because you're on antibiotics! although, i suppose, i don't really need alcohol to have a good time, but it definitely helps.
11.03.03 BI-POLARITY
taís has a healing aura. and edwin-tyler is beautiful (but he prefers the term 'handsome').
11.02.03 KEVIN
i need you. badly.
10.29.03 EDWIN-TYLER
so. i only know his first name, and half of it's made-up.
10.26.03 3G PLAN
i'm buzzing. i'm glowing. i'm so freakin' euphoric that i'm becoming intolerable. i'd almost forgot how good sex can be -- scary, no?
the 3G plan (Get out, Get laid, Get over it) combined with taís' mantra of "beber, fumar, e foder" (drink, smoke, and fuck) is working wonders on my state of latent depression and quietude.
10.24.03 WHAT?
as a proof of my scintillating conversational skills, here is a brief conversation i had on msn:
D: o que?**"o que" meaning, "what?" in portugese.
J: okay
D: o que?
J: olé!
10.22.03 MORALITY
is it wrong to have sex with friends? give me your advice at jes_fung@hotmail.com.
10.20.03 DIAGNOSIS
i don't know why, but i feel like running myself into the ground. absolutely fucking myself up and doing everything my mother has ever told me not to do. i want to drink too much, smoke too much, and fuck too much.
i'm definitely wearing thin.
10.16.03 SYNOPSIS
last saturday, i was the drunkest i've been in 5 years. i mauled friends. i introduced myself to passersby. i cried when franco refused to kiss me. i kicked a cinderblock. i told my life story to a poor, hapless taxi driver. i woke up drunk and with a boy named darren's phone number in my pocket. awful. and it all started when alexa said, "what do you mean, you've NEVER had tequila?!"
edwin-tyler is shocked at the disparity between sober jes and drunk jes. apparently, i need to get drunk more often. yikes.
10.10.03 EXIT STAGE LEFT
so i'm a slacker when it comes to updating this thing, but at least i'm remaining true to my promise of quality content. *snicker*
i think i'm still crushing on F (C, D, and E were easily forgotten). i'm trying to work up the courage to tell him how i feel, and it's not made easier by the fact that i know exactly what he'll say. the following is how the conversation will go:
J: hey, F, i really like you.
F: thanks. i like you, too.
J: no, really, i LIKE you.
F: yeah, i like you too.
J: no, no, no. "i like you" as in, i'm interested in you.
F: what? (confused look)
J: (shrug)
F: oh. (deer-in-the-headlights look)
*pause*
F: look! a dog with a fluffy tail!
thanks to john for letting me know that it was funny.
08.18.03 SMALL JOYS
having a good time in brasil. teaching has been very rewarding, even if the rewards come in the form of small tokens of affection, ie small candies and paper birds.
only two complaints today: the cold and the brasilian keyboard, which has slightly rearranged keys so i´m hitting the backspace much more than i usually do. *pout*
07.30.03 LINGERING ILLNESS
it is with a mixture of longing and disappointment that i realize that i´m not quite entirely over B. this sucks.
07.25.03 ADDENUM
butternut squash, another web comic i enjoy. is ramón not a hot comic character?
and yes, i do spend all my time reading web comics. i like 'em so much i have purchased both the diesel sweeties and white ninja books and am having them shipped to brazil. nowadays, what else is there to do on the internet?
07.24.03 WEB COMIC GOODNESS
two newly discovered web comics that have me thirsting like an ex-crack whore in the middle of the Sahara for an internet connection at work: white ninja comics, pure irreverant fun, and ctrl alt del, a portrait of my future had i been successful with B.
stop working and go!
07.14.03 MEA CULPA
i´m in brasil. having a good time thus far, though much, much colder than any of us ever anticipated. brasilian winter (where i am, at least) is equivalent to the canadian late fall. it can only get warmer.
today is also our first day at work. we´re getting introduced to our work supervisors and my project is to teach teens, ages 11-14, basic computer skills. being dressed in pastel colours doesn´t command respect; what was i thinking?! gah!
and sharon, you´ll groan when you hear this: there´s a new piece of eye-candy that, if not worse, can´t possibly be any better than josh. ack!