Listen In On the Calls....
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Older calls on the Call History Page.
kevinb told Dix:
I have real problem with booze
Hello Kevin. I was a little surprised to get your call, which as you may have noticed is a lot more serious that most of the "issues" that are dealt with here.
As far as dealing with things, you've already done one of the hardest parts, which is recognizing that you have a problem, and wanting to do something about it.
Alcohol withdrawal--what happens to your body when you quit drinking--can be dangerous, depending upon how much you've been drinking and for how long. Depending upon your health and your circumstances, it can even be life-threatening. (Not that the drinking itself isn't either, mind you.)
Most people need some help to quit. If you have been drinking a lot and daily, you may even need some medical help. If you have a doctor you trust, that may be a good place to start. Even a doctor you don't know might be a good place to start. Sometimes they can give people medication to make withdrawals less dangerous and more comfortable.
You can also look up "Detox" in the phone book, or call some alcohol treatment centers and ask if they offer detox. And don't worry about the money right now--most people who have drinking problems don't have much money. It goes with the territory.
If it feels too overwhelming for you, you can try to get a friend or family member to help. Or call AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, and ask one of the members to help you get started. Or you can even call your local crisis hotline and ask for help there--that's what they are there for. I know it can be scary and embarrassing to ask for help. But there are people and places that are willing to help others in your situation, and sometimes the people there have even been where you are now. Drinking problems normally don't get better or go away by themselves. But with determination and the support of others, people do get better.
Good luck, Kevin, and let me know how you make out.
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
havingsexinmysleep told Dix:
My wife only wants to have sex in the middle of the night. She comes to bed at 3.a.m.. feeling frisky...I kinda remember enjoying...but I am not really sure. How do I get her to come to bed before I go to sleep? Is only wanting sex at 3 in the morning some new perversion? Something along the lines of necrophilia?
First of all. Sleepy, Dix has to interject a strong personal injunction here: Quit whining! Didn't you eavesdrop on Tyron's call? She puts out, man... That's a big overall plus in the grand and delicate balance of marital relationships..
However, moving back to the issue at hand and composing herself, Dix would venture to suppose that a wife who was staying up until all hours of the night was not sitting goofily on her hands, staring off blankly into space. Chances are she is involved in various projects, pursuits, and so forth, evidently quite involved to stay up so late.
Bearing this in mind, it's important that you make sure she has a little warning of when you going to bed beforehand to wrap up her activities and that you don't simply disappear when she's deeply involved in one of her projects. There need to be clear signals to readily distinguish a husband ready for bed from a husband watching t.v.
Considering this, it probably wouldn't hurt to hint around there may be a special reward for ladies who get to bed at a decent hour, perhaps involving an awake, enthusiastic and very friendly spouse. After all, she must be pretty interested in sex or she wouldn't bother to wake your butt up in the middle of the night. (Dix will not comment on the necrophila question, as she finds the mental image the whole thing conjures as highly distateful.) Have fun, Sleepy!
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
Annoyed At work told Dix:
You See. I think she is involved in some sort of orgy sex ring late at night because she is always late for work and it seems that even when she is at work she's too tired to actually work. It is effecting the work of those around her and don't know what to do. Help!!!
Well, Annoying--er, Annoyed--Dix just is wondering: Are you familiar with the psychological concept of "projection?"
Ah, no matter, really, but Dix does have to say she finds it highly unlikely that your coworker is actually deeply entrenched in an orgy sex ring. After all, do you think you'd want to have sex with her, and all night every night at that? Dix hopes not....
Dix suggests that you address this coworkers behavior indirectly. In the morning before she arrives, make some preperations. Fill her work area with broken office equipment, archived files, storage boxes, and junk in general. Post a notice advertising the sale of her computer and any personal effects she had in her work area. Change her voicemail message so that all of her personal calls are redirected to a local funeral home.
When she complains--and she will--explain that you were certain that she had quit suddenly or died because it's been so long since you've seen any evidence of her working. Tell her that she looks very good today: almost lifelike, and that you wish her the speediest of recoveries from her untimely death. If she insists she isn't dead, explain that a psychic hotline has informed you that an enraged coworker will snap at some point in the near future, and that the made for t.v. movie will big a huge success.
Although this might not completely solve your problem of a tardy and annoying co-not-worker, she will give you a very wide berth in the office and may actually turn pretend to work on her equipment in an effort to keep it from being auctioned off. At the very least, it will reduce your stress levels considerably. It may also help to make strange noises and twitch when she approaches your physical proximity. Good luck, Annoyed!
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
The Man in Charge told Dix:
I don't really have a problem I just
wanted to let the world know who the big boss is. That would be me of course... I hope my
wife is following my orders and shopping
for food and cleaning the house right now. If she is not she will be in big trouble....
Thanks Again .....The Man
Mmmm. Very interesting sharing time, Man. Although Dix doesn't want to upset your obviously somewhat strained reality-testing functions, she would like to very subtly point out that your choice to call is a good step in the direction of acknowledgment and personal growth, albeit a rather small one.
Dix would encourage you to keep taking such tiny step in the path of your personal evoulution, and she wants to reassure you that life in the great big "real world" isn't as scary as it seems. Grunts easily give way to more syllables, and you will probably find walking upright pleasant with some diligent practice. Keep evolving!
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
Tyron told Dix:
Are there survivors of marital celibacy???
Well, Tyron, you ask a very interesting...and, uh....revealing question. Of course, Dix wouldn't have any personal experience in this area...at least not with marital celibacy. Of course, Dix has had boyfriends that....but we digress.
If the writers to Dear Abby are to be believed, myriads of people survive the very unspeakable condition of which you speak. Of course, their hair goes all listless and they may become unnaturally cranky. But that's another issue altogether.
Of course, the very fact you state your question in such dire terms (and professional listeners like Dix notice multiple punctuation marks for the cries of help they truly are), Dix would have to say yours must be a critical case. Therefore, Dix would suggest multiple options to you, to compliment your multiple punctuation marks:
- Run, don't saunter, to your nearest marital counselor! This won't necessarily get you any sex, but your wife will learn to feel very guilty about the whole ugly ordeal, and you may get a really clean house and some hot food that doesn't taste like paper wrappers.
- Call Dr. Ruth. She won't actually get you any sex either, but she'll make you feel better about yourself. She'll also discuss topics like "self-pleasuring" and "small groups" with an exotic accent. You can record that on your personal Walkman and pretend her name is Helga for option #3.
- There's a reason why bathroom doors have locks. If you can't determine this reason without your CrisisLine counselor explaining it to you, chances are you are having lots of steamy marital sex now and are simply unaware of it. Congratulations!
(Take me to the top, Dix.)
Voyeur told
Dix:
I am obsessed with watching women eat bananas and
popsicles...it just tears me up... help me please....
Ummm. Dix understands. You describe an obvious case of Hyper-Testosterone Levels. Fortunately, this condition is easy to remedy. Avoid all mechanical tasks and football games for a month or so. Shop for shoes. Avoid snack bars. Before you know it, you'll be about as bothered by such sights as a dolphin eyeing a tuna net.
And if that doesn't help you, buy your significant other a twelve-pack of NutraSweet Fudgsicles. She'll love you for it. (Take me to the top, Dix.)
"All women want me" told Dix:
I am stuck in Iowa...all the women here
are so
ugly...and to make it worse they all desire me insanely... I am running out of big sticks
to beat them off... what should I do? what should I do?
