She is not a BABE or a CHICK.
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER.
She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY.
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not a TEASE or a FLIRT.
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB.
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION HIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND.
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED.
She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY.
She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

She does not have a KILLER BODY.
She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She is not an AIRHEAD.
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY.
She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY.
She is SEXUALLY FOCUSSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS.
She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU.
She is VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT.
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS.
She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE.
She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.