Guest Book Chat Room

Feel like a little cosmetic surgery whilst trying to decide what to buy uncle Rufus for his 93rd birthday? Well, you've come to the right place.

Just look at what Fump's can offer...

• Second Mouth development (enabling twice the food consumption)
• Kneecap coning
• Eyeball tattooing
• Ear extensions (including ear wax engrandisement)
• Nose dyeing (together with added phlegm implementation)
• Nose Sharpening (perfect when you don't have a pencil)
• Buttock grafting (ideal when your toilet seat isn't the right size)

• Beak grafts
• Feather implants
• Toe webbing construction

Have your mucus permenantly preserved in slabs of plastic!

Own Your Own Head

Now, at last, Fump's offers your the unique opportunity to own your own head!

Sick of renting your cranium?

Depressed at the thought of someone else owning the distribution rights to your brain?

Now, thanks thanks to Fump's financial wizardry, you can take out our monthly instalment plan and in only 25 years you'll be able to trust your own eyes!

And don't forget, should you be decapitated at any stage within the repayment period we'll provide you with a fully working replacement completely free of charge.

You won't know the difference!

That's the kind of service we provide at Fump's!

Surgeries

Visit our daily advice surgeries where you can learn life enhancing lessons such as how to throw up round corners.

Yes, you'll never look back after Fump's...unless you have eyes in the back of your head!

Baboon Academy
Bruce's Yodelling School
Dining In
Elephant Selection Service
Express Funeral Services
Fish Shop
Fump's Functional Lingerie
Museum
Toilet
Virtual University