The Flying Collie
Warning
this is the flying collie story: ignore it if you are not in the mood to
laugh! There are a couple of people who have made a request for me to retell
the tale of the collie who didn't know she couldn't fly.
Way
back when our kids were little we had a female collie named
Scuffy.
We decided to let her have one litter before having her "fixed". So when
she was a year old, she had her litter of 11 pups. (Glad we decided once
was enough.) Then it was time to send them all off to new homes. One went
to a lady and her son who lived kitty corner across the street from us.
She worked all day and her son was in daycare, so the pup was alone most
of the day. (Okay, I'm getting there, you have to have all the facts, or
you won't get the picture!)
It was early Oct. then, and I discovered that some of the upstairs windows still needed to be have new putty in them. So, I crawled out the open window onto the porch roof with all my stuff. (Tom never was handy with tools but I love him to pieces anyway, after all he did change diapers and wash the dishes sometimes!) Any hoot, I'm out there with one bedroom window open so I don't have to call Tom to let me back in when I'm done. (Our windows have automatic spring locks on them.)
Being
a nice sunny Sunday afternoon, there was quite a bit of traffic going by
on the street. I was working away when suddenly the pup,(across the street),
started yapping loudly. Scuffy, who until now had been downstairs in the
livingroom with Tom and the kids, heard her pup, came running upstairs
full speed, down the length of the hall, through our bedroom, out the window
and
across the roof and.............
There is this old couple driving along, the man slams on the brakes and the two of them watch as.........you got it? About thirty feet out from the roof, gravity took over, and Scuffy suddenly stopped paddling and plummetted to the ground landing in the middle of Kathy's tricycle which was parked on the lawn. I ran to the edge of the roof and looked over to check on the dog, who had landed straddling the trike. The old man hollars, "Lady, don't jump, it'll be okay!" I stuck my head in the window and screamed, "Tom, Scuffy jumped off the roof; she's hurt; go get her."
Tom hollared upstairs, "What do you mean the dog jumped off the roof, what roof?" It was easier to climb in the window and run downstairs myself than try to say all that again. I passed him at the foot of the stairs and ran outside. Scuffy wasn't even trying to get up. All of her feet looked funny. At first glance, I said, "Oh dear, she's broken all four feet." Tom carried her inside and I called the vet! This was Sunday; this was before answering machines and few doctors had answering services; the vet did not.You know the rest of that!
Well, I started checking her over and discovered that all four paws were dislocated, not broken, so after I snapped them all back in place, Tom carried her to her bed and she laid there the rest of the day and evening. Around 11 that night she 'really' had to go outside, so Tom carried her out and held her up while she did her "wee-wee" and then put her back to bed.
In the morning, she was fine, running around with the kids like nothing ever happened, but believe me, she NEVER went near an open window again, and we had her till she was 14 years old. It was scary at the time, but every time I think about it, I don't just see this 85 pound furball flying through the air, flailing at nothing, I see this little old man telling ME not to jump, and I crack up laughing. Hey, I may a bit strange and mop floors and wash windows in the middle of the night, but no way am I jumping off the roof for anybody! Peace and laughs to you all...
True Story Written by Nightowl and previously reported on the House of Love and Support messageboard. Thanks go out to Silver/Barb for preserving this story on the HOLAS library bookshelf under humor.
