The first night of what was supposed to be a happy time for me, was one of the most miserable nights of my life. And my life went downhill from there. My husband continued to drink every night with his friends and I was left at home with his parents, one of which was a father-in-law, who I had to lock myself away from all the time to escape sexual abuse.
One night my husband’s mother decided to go to church and invited me along. I went and while sitting in this tiny church, I heard for the first time in my life that there was someone called Jesus who loved me so much that he died for me. I heard a man stand to his feet and testify to the fact that he was saved and that he had found Jesus to be someone who had proven to be a faithful friend and since he accepted Jesus he had never been alone.
He went on to say that anyone could know Jesus, but all I could think was this Jesus wouldn’t want anything to do with someone like me. So I got up to leave the church, but much to my surprise I found myself being drawn toward the altar, where I fell to my knees and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and come into my life. I didn’t have any big feelings and no fireworks exploded, but I had something I never experienced before. I had peace.
When I went home my husband told me to keep it to myself and not to shove it down his throat. From that night on he gradually got worse. I would sit at home night after night with just a small baby. I would pick up my guitar and sing choruses of praise to Jesus and make up songs of love to him. He was my dearest friend.
One day when my son was 8 months old I told my husband to choose his friends and the beer or me and my son. He packed his clothes and walked out on us. I was devastated, but I knew I wasn’t alone. After awhile my husband asked me to take him back and because I was a Christian, I was told I had no choice but to do that. Many times I took him back into my life for that reason.
One night he came home high on drugs and frightened my son to the extent that I had to have my 8 year old son removed from the house. After the police left with my husband, I decided that enough was enough and I packed my things. I could take the abuse, but no one would do that to my children.
When I left, some Christian friends told me I had made the wrong decision. So I got before God and asked Him what I was to do and if I was right in what I was doing. Many don’t agree with this, and you may not either, but God answered me in a way that night that proved to me that I was where it was alright to be.
I claimed 1 Corinthians 7: 10,11 as my scripture and I lived by it. It says, "And unto the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband." Until the day my husband died, for 11 years I followed that scripture and was true to my marriage vows and most importantly to God.
I have seen God work so many miracles in answered prayer in my life that I could write a book and have no problem filling the pages. He has been so faithful to me. He has healed me emotionally from being sexually abused at the ages of 4 and 6 (something of which my family still doesn’t know about) by people I trusted dearly. He also healed me of a nervous condition where I would have to breathe into a paper bag to keep from passing out when the panic attacks would come. One day I sat in my home, just a young Christian, and was so weak I couldn't even lift my hands. I looked upward and simply cried, "Lord, help me please." He heard that cry and healed me instantly. I have never had a nervous problem again. Glory to His name!!!! He is the healer of any sickness.
He has shown me that love is to be given as well as received and that we all fall short of what God would have us to be. He has helped me forgive more easily, to love unconditionally and to trust him explicitly for everything I need. He has proven over and over again how great his love, mercy, grace and compassion is.
I love Jesus with all of my heart and am so thankful that during the rough times of my life I ran to him, instead of away from him. I look forward to the day when I will meet him face to face. Would I recommend him to anyone? You bet. He is my life today. I would not want to wake up in the morning if Jesus wasn’t going to be there and I cannot understand how anyone can make it without him. I love him with all of my heart and only want His will to be done in my life.
After 34 years of being saved, I am still learning that I don’t know it all and that I still need Him in my life now, as much as I ever did. He has been a friend above all friends and a wonderful Saviour.
--Dove