AdviceAdvice
Don't know how to get rid of a pesky
and annoying "friend?" Not sure how to tell your fiance´
that you're also married to seven other people? I can help!
I specialize in giving advice. And believe me, I'm more than qualified. Of course, I'm also qualified to get a real job, but hey, one thing at a time. Anyway, just e-mail your questions to cuitla@geocities.com
Dear Expert,
I'm living in a small, one room apartment with a man that I hate very VERY much. He's my roommate. Well, technically he's my husband. But that doesn't mean I love him. Because I don't, you know. In any case, my question is what's a good way to stop my garbage from smelling bad so I don't have to constantly take it out?
Smelly Trash in Toledo
Dear Smelly, I hear placing a few charcoal briquettes at the bottom of your trash receptacle will absorb the odor pretty good.
Dear Expert,
I'm very ashamed of myself. While visiting a local department store, I accidentally bumped into this lady wearing nice clothes. Well, I guess I bumped into her pretty hard because, when she hit the floor, she was already as stiff as a cadaver. I checked her pulse, and nothing! I started to panic, so I shoved her body in the changing room. I think I killed her! What should I do?
Killer Shopper in Charlotte
Dear Killer, relax. What you bumped into was not a woman but a mannequin. At least, I hope so...
Dear Expert,
I work retail. I have customers who come in to the store and open boxes to look at the merchandise. Then they put down the open box they JUST looked at and buy the one they didn't open! Don't people realize that we lose $1000s of dollars because other people will refuse to buy an open box item? I hate people. And to be honest, I'm tempted to steal a high-powered deer rifle from the sporting goods department and exact my own little revenge. What do you think?
Desperate Clerk in Clearwater
Dear Desperate, it's true. Shoppers are often inconsiderate dopes. However, I would recommend stealing a few handguns, too. Because, when the SWAT team arrives, you might have to switch to weapons you don't have to aim as much. Some reference movies to watch would be Rambo: First Blood and Red Dawn.
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page