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Several months back the Sixth Sense star stated that he wanted to start doing movies more suitable for children, so his own offspring could enjoy Daddy’s work. Willis’s next project was The Whole Nine Yards, where he played a hit-man training a sexy dental hygienist to shoot people while she flashes her boobs, so infer what you will regarding his concept of parenting. But then he got around to something family-friendly: Disney’s The Kid. Which really does include the studio’s name in the title, supposedly to forestall anyone’s confusing it with 1921 Charlie Chaplin movie The Kid. (See, that’s what happens when you let people into theaters and video stores without first requiring they measure up to a “Your I.Q. must be This High to enter” sign.) Some marketing yob at The Mouse has probably decided that misappropriating names of silent classics for films that have little or nothing to do with the originals will be the next big trend. So get ready for stuff like Disney’s The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, about a kindly Italian woodworker whose teakwood media center wants to be a real boy, and Disney’s Nosferatuttifrutti, concerning a cute little vampire that only eats ice cream.
Considering the subject matter, a more suitable title for this film might have been Disney’s Big. Willis plays Russell Duritz, a high-priced image consultant adept at making even the most despicable politicians and celebrities look like saints. His longsuffering assistants Amy (Emily Mortimer, The Ghost and the Darkness) and Janet (Lily Tomlin) barely tolerate his near-ruthless brusqueness because, now and then, the tiniest ray of sincerity shines through an otherwise rabid MBAttitude. Though chronically single, estranged from his family, and used to hearing the word “jerk” more often than a world-class powerlifter, Russell has convinced himself he’s happy. That is, until, a few days before his 40th birthday, the soundtrack starts playing music shamelessly borrowed from Back to the Future and his car gets buzzed by a mysterious red biplane (there’s a trend I could sign onto – last week’s Rocky & Bullwinkle featured a nifty old bipe too). Suddenly Duritz is getting visitations from a trenchant, hobbit-looking little fellow who turns out to be his 8-year-old 1968 self, Rusty.
It takes a little time for them to admit their connection, since aside from a couple distinctive moles and scars they seem to have nothing in common. Rusty is shocked he grew up to be a “loser” who “teaches people to lie about who they are so they can be somebody else” and doesn’t have a wife or dog or a pickup truck or fly jets for a living. Russ is convinced the boy is a hallucination, since he himself doesn’t remember ever being so pudgy, clumsy, and speech-impeded. Were this not Disney they would probably end up dueling to the death with garden implements. But it is, so they stop yelling and settle down to something more productive, namely trying to figure out what happened, and why, and what can be done to put things right..
The Kid, written by Audrey Wells (The Truth About Cats & Dogs and George of the Jungle), is actually a good bit better than it looked in the trailers, largely because newcomer Spencer Breslin is perfectly engaging and unspoiled as the cherubic Rusty. Unfortunately, director John Turteltaub (Phenomenon, While You Were Sleeping), despite having done well with such whimsical material before, doesn’t coax an equally enjoyable performance out of his adult lead. Perhaps all those Die Hard installments diluted the likable comedic sensibility that worked for Willis back in his “Moonlighting” days, because this time out most of his attempts at humor are confined to frantic hyperventilation. I couldn’t help thinking Tom Hanks would have been great in the role, but he’s already done it better.
It’s still easy to get into the spirit of things and succumb to the basic charm of the reverse-Peter Pan plot, wherein a guy who acts like he never had a childhood is given another chance to find it. It would have been nice to see more scenes with Lily Tomlin, whose impeccable comic timing could have further enlivened things, but Hollywood continues to squander the talents of anybody old enough to remember black & white TV and cars with tailfins. Hey – are you guys listening? How about Disney’s On Golden Pond? And it better not be nuthin’ too freak. C+
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