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This hip-hop retelling of the myth of Orpheus stars ex-Fugee Prakazrel “Pras” Michel as aspiring rapper Diamond, who instead of receiving a magical lyre from his Muse mother Calliope is given the gift of jazz by his pianist father Clif (Vondie Curtis-Hall). Thusly armed he weaves a musical spell that charms even the wild beasts – local dope dealers – until a final showdown with Cerberus, in this case his all-powerful supplier, threatens the life of his personal Euridyce, Kia (Tamal Jones), who in turn...I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I was trying to find something substantive to say about a movie so bad that the distributor didn’t even bother to attach trailers for any other movies in front of it, but it’s hopeless.
Having first fancied himself an author with his autobiography Ghetto Supastar, upon which Turn It Up is based, Pras now labors under the delusion he can act. But all he does is indulge a 9mm superfly fantasy, playing the rhyming gunslinger who takes on a veritable cocaine UN of Cockney, Chinese, and Russian dealers. His emotive spectrum offers only two variations: “woe is me, I can’t get enough money to finish my album, I hired a cokehead to run board, I shot some guys, I got my girlfriend pregnant, and my momma died” surly, and “hurry up and finish your line, baby, so we can grind lips” impatient. In comparison, fellow poet Ja-Rule comes across like Denzel Washington as Diamond’s best friend Gage. At least he can bleed on cue.
The only winner in this travesty, which could do no better than 21st at the box office its first weekend, is the reputation of Tupac Shakur. He showed by roles in movies such as Gridlock’d and Gang Related that it’s not impossible for a rapper to wax dramatic, but I’ll bet he’s bustin’ a move in his grave about now. F
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