In Defense of the Heart: Diana and Denver
"Defiant" is not a word typically used to describe an admirer of people like John Denver and Princess Diana. Yet, although both were popular with millions, both were also so viciously ridiculed that it took something like defiance to stick up for them at times. Why all the "Pollyanna" attacks for wearing your heart on your sleeve, dreaming of a better way, or being openly compassionate?
Is it, as Charles Spencer so boldly put it at Diana's funeral, because
goodness is disturbing to those at the opposite end of the moral spectrum?
And if the critics are not evil, then why are there so many critics despite
the fact that many millions of people find John Denver and Princess Diana
to be profoundly and deeply moving figures?
Though it is tempting to ascribe evil to those who attack people honestly
trying to do good, the truth is more subtle. Let me give an example.
Just imagine a group of people openly baby-talking or singing lullabies to
an infant. If you love that baby, or if you are able to immerse yourself
in the spirit of that moment, it feels so right to express affection for
that baby in such a vulnerable and super-sweet way. It's almost
irresistible!
On the other hand, if you are under stress, desperately needing to get
work done, or are indifferent about that baby, you will find those very
same loving sounds and lullabies to be extremely annoying.
All of us have turned mushy over an infant at least once and been annoyed
at least once. Our different reactions at different times to that
cherishing baby-loving spirit were just a function of our frame of mind.
Similarly, our reactions to pure "spirits" like John Denver, Princess Diana
and Mother Theresa are especially revealing of our attitudes and our culture.
Take John Denver's music as an example. At its best, he captured pure
moments of transcendence in a sweet, loving way that could be universally
understood, like the simple beauty of "Sunshine on my Shoulders" or the
free spirit of a "Rocky Mountain High." For John Denver, the cherishing of
nature and love was, like a little baby, irresistible! He certainly shared
his enthusiasm and infectious happiness with the world in every way.
Like the example of a lullaby, those who were able to open their hearts to
John Denver's music were profoundly moved by it, while those who were
stressed out, desperately needing to get work done, didn't like nature, or
were in a frame of mind not able to appreciate a ballad simply found John
Denver annoying. Even real fans of Mr. Denver could drift in and out of an
appreciation of his music depending on mood and situation.
Given the increasingly cynical situation of our culture as we headed into
the 80s and 90s, it's not surprising that more and more was done to
belittle Mr. Denver's "saccharine" lyrics and destroy Princess Diana's
fairy tale. These critics loved to point out imperfections in order to
suggest that the heights of goodness John sang about or that Diana worked
for should somehow be ridiculed or ignored. A person annoyed at hearing a
lullaby or a fairy tale will do almost anything to make it stop.
But the critics of the pure, vulnerable spirits of our age (our
lullaby-singers) truly miss the point. They miss the point because even if
our lullaby-singers seem hypocritical for not perfectly cherishing their
babies, even if they are accused of exaggeration because the babies they
sing about are not really the most beautiful in the whole world, and even
if some people are annoyed to the depths of their soul with these
enthusiastically "saccharine" expressions, at the end of the day we can
still confidently say that it's RIGHT to open our hearts and sing a lullaby
to whatever we care about. Though one becomes vulnerable by doing so, the
closer one gets to the true heart, the more immune one becomes from any
kind of REAL criticism. So long as it is heartfelt, it is simply bad taste
and poor manners to criticize anyone who sings a lullaby, even if they are
out of tune and even if they annoy every Scrooge in the world.
If the critics never had a moment in their lives where they were touched
by Princess Diana's spirit, never could really let any "Country Roads" take
them home to a special place in the heart, or never had a wilderness
experience perfectly evoked by "Rocky Mountain High", then we simply feel
sorry for the critics, just as one would feel sorry for someone unable to
sing a lullaby. Like Scrooge, the critics honestly believe they are
sternly defending the truths of a very serious and complicated world, but
their irritation with Denver and Diana merely reveals their inability to
feel joy in anything pure.
In sum, life is little but a collection of pure, powerful moments that
occur when we are able to open our hearts. The rest we forget. It's
possible to see your entire life flash before your eyes in a second of
terror because all that's really left of your life is your moments.
With all the moments John Denver and Princess Diana both experienced and
created for us, in the instant it took for Diana's Mercedes to crash in
Paris, or in the instant it took for John's plane to crash into Monterey
Bay, I truly doubt that their lives were finished flashing before their
eyes.
Those of us who admire people who cherish and try to do good will carry on
with the messages of John Denver and Princess Diana. Those millions of us
who were lucky enough to appreciate the gifts of spirit they offered will
always remember the joy we felt when our own inner Scrooge was quieted.
The holiday season once again invites us to quiet the Scrooge, open our
hearts and sing lullabies for whatever we love. For only in experiences as
pure and as vulnerable as lullabies and fairy tales do we ever have moments
in which we truly live. Thank you, John and Diana.
by Paul R. Lehto, 12/8/97
Paul Lehto, Attorney at Law