This page is contains a few of the many stories from SKYWRITING BY WORD OF MOUTH, published in 1986 (?). The drawings in this book are much more realistic, and have less of the "mutant-monster" quality of his earlier drawings. The entire book seems happier, more peaceful than either of his earlier books, as well.
Again, I will remind the reader that all grammatical liberties are strictly John's doing, not mine. I am working on getting some of the pictures scanned in. Stay tuned.


Two Virgins
WONSAPONATIME there was two Ballons called Jock and Yono. They were strictly in love-bound to happen in a million years. They were together man. Unfortunatimetable they both seemed to have previous experience--which kept calling them one
way oranother (you know howitis). But they battled on against overwhelming oddites, includo some of there beast friends. Being in love they cloong even more together man--but some of the poisonessmonster of outrated buslodedshithrowers did stick slightly and tey occaasionaly had to resort to the drycleaners. Luckily this did not kill them and they werent banned from the olympic games. They lived hopefully every after, and who could blame them...


An Alphabet
A is for Parrot which we can plainly see
B is for glasses which we can plainly see
C is for plastic which we can plainly see
D is for Doris
E is for binoculars I'll get in five
F is for Ethel who lives next door
G is for orange because we love to eat when we can get them because they come from abroad
H is for England and (Heather)
I is for monkey we see in the tree
J is for parrot which we can plainly see
K is for shoetop we wear to the ball
L is for Land because brown
K is for Venezula where the oranges come from
N is for Brazil near Venezuela (very near)
O is for football which we kick about a bit
T is for Tommy who won the war
Q is a garden which we can plainly see
R is for intestines which hurt when we dance
S is for pancake or whole-wheat bread
U is for Ethel who lives on the hill
P is arab and her sister will
V is for me
W is for lighter which never lights
X is for easter--have one yourself
Y is a crooked letter and you can't straighten it
Z is for Apple which we can plainly see

This is my story both humble and true
Take it to pieces and mend it with glue


I've included excerpts from this next part, entitled...

THE ART OF DECEPTION IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER "Or he who laughs last is usually the dumbest kid on the block."

"Or how my life was nearly ruined by an unjewish hippy."

It's amazing how low you go to get high. It's cheaper to pay for it. Kaptain Kundalini escapes from Knixxon's shit list. The village voice strangled by self-indulgence. Anne Venner loses control of her body in seven easy lessons in the village stone; cecil beats off sex offender. Fear and Loathing in
the Vatican, St. John Thomas's 19th book in the series "Fear and Loathing Wherever I can find it." Dame Roberta Morley sells not so great Britain to the Arabs. Herman Goering wins Grammy. Fred and Ada Ghurkin invited to jeer at crippled vets as "Some Wars Are Over" rally...


You must remember this...
A piss is just a piss...


An in explicable feeling of Charlatan the Great comes over me as I peer through the window of my seventh-floor soul.
So, You're getting bored?
So fuck you.
Turn the page.
Go to sleep.
How to drive a large car over a small body:

Why must I be he a teenager in drag? In the name of the father, mother, and Rory Calhoun, I pronounce this ship shape. Why do foo-ools fall in holes? Each night I ask the stars up aburve.

"I've seen the future and it prays." These words I leave you as I pass into a hypnotic trance brought on by a yawn of great significance. Why did the Boston strangler? Coz Lady Astor! Dr. Tong's on the phone and he wants to talk to me. Methodane: the government-sponsored killer. Ask a "real" Dr. "how to get off?" "You can't," they say, with a reassuring smile. Up you, Dr. Dildol.

One thing about Western doctors I do like is the fact that they're all ILL. "I'm arranging to have your symptoms confirmed."
"Oh, thank you, thank you, blessed, wise, and wonderful one."

They can't admit what they don't know, but they do talk Latin. Drs. and Lawyers are interchangeable; they both stick you. "I don't make house calls; I make money!"

<< >>

A demiurge on behlaf of the Knights of the Order of St. Dervish:

Dear Subscriber,
As you know, at this time we generally put spells on most people. This year, we have decided to invite people to participate on a voluntary basis, or else. Please send a donation or suffer the pangs of guilt which are implict in letters of this nature. We are more deserving than anyone else on earth as far as we're concerned. In fact we're Very Important.
We hope you will find it in your well-known heart to help us in our endevors to get toilet paper to needy patrons. Our list of sponsors is similar to most other organizations (i.e., liberal, with a sprinkling of people).Do join us for a caviar breakfast to raise consciousness.

bless you in advance.

the respectable Viscount,
J.K. Tthimblestein Arcourt Smythe (e.g.i.e.phd.)

P.S. Enclosed is a list of others we've harassed in the past.

<< >>

I wink to myself, and push on to the next chapter in the continuing saga of a seemingly endless character analysis.


Be Were Wolf Of Limitations, or...
The Spirit of Boogie Be Upon You

In this age of Aquarians bear water with me if you could just give me more only five minutes more (or less) pleases herself in most things but they're all the same these days what with the cost of living proof of pudding is in the eating your heart out negative printing press matters to a conclusion without jumping to a standstill you can't blame them what with their parents drinking themselves silly every night. I'll see you in my dreamboat in the same time tomorrow never comes in you're not careful of woe there this is my stop picking on someone your own size 'em up and pounce on their remains to be seen and heard any good books lately? I've been having these incredible urges me on to great lengths of clothes spread over a wide diversity of interests me a lot too wit:

I don't know why I love you like I do declare myself unfit to hold office furniture at a reasonable price which staggers the economy of any self-respecting society column of marchers seen heading up Fifth Avenue looking for Barbra Stanwick Hotel on the Park your car in any place you can find it in the morning if the police haven't towed the line up and be counted out of desperation...

Lollipoppa don't take no mess sergeant peppers lonely hearts ckub foot transplant. Information please help me I'm foreign rain, go away ward wind is a restless window on the world domination shall no paddington station break fast of champion spark plugs his own stationary object seen floating over the pentagon with the hearing aid to the Vietnam june paik and smoke it nevers rains in southern claifornicating to the lowest common denominaturally I never touch it myself be true to your school days are the happiest days of your life...

Words are flowing out like endless rainbows mixed grilling bacon von oil field marshall tucker band wagonner rear end zone what you reap van winkle of an eyelid of grass blowers convention centre forward march hair raising the flag of truce is stranger that friction of a second helping...


A Reason for Breathing

I pictured myself on a boat on a river with tangerine trees and nervous dysplasia. This was to be the final chapter in my life savings. I pulled the plug and boarded an Amtrak to nowhere. I had suffered insomnia all my life, but, like Issac Newton, had put it down to apples. It was hereditary (so was my forehead).
I wished to remain anonymous in a world of Philadelphians. I ticked myself off and put myself in my place, a two-bedroomed brownstone of ill repute. I was convinced I'd been here before. Call it what you will, I call it daft. Had I walked these same dusty springfields before? Or was I just a victim of circumnavigation? Yea, tho' I walk thru Rudy Valle, I will fear no Evel Knievel. Junk food made me silly; fast food slowed me down; I had to get off at the next stop. I alighted to the sound of a military bandit.
"Do you take this woman anywhere in particular?" the voice rang out. I panicked slowly and continued to exercise my discretion.


Subtitled "Lucy in the Scarf With Diabetics"

...it has come to our atissue (bless you), that war is only profitable to those left behind; to wit, and if and when the Third World War (most aptly titled) breaks out, who will know who won? We at RANDUM have a lot of machines. WHO WILL RUN THEM? The late President Exxon was himself heard to mumble "Hurt me! hurt me!" but his democracy was never taped. His Matron was seen to test his cocoa for signs of the times, such as Communist footballs or deliberate nutshells on the White House lawn. (One such was found in the Garden of Unaccountably Dead Plants, but it was never proven.) Soon to become a household worm, hi name went down throughly in history. His library will contain the ashes of every one he knew and the Howard HUGE Memorial Hospital next door will only admit dead people, for fear of Spreading Some Unconscionable Disease. Mr. HUGE himself was a well-known hyperconduit.

Although this study took only four years to garnish, it still smelled a little. Well, Rabbit Warren Report looked good too, apart from the strange theory that the same bullet killed both John Kennedy and Efrem Zimbalist Jr. without stopping for lunch. The author, a previous Chef of the C.I.A., has spent many long hours in a motel toilet somewhere off the coast of Cubans (also known aas Florid, or God's Waiting Room). He would not revel his sorceress even under the threat of love. He's our kinda guy.
Next week we'll discuss "How to Satisfy a Dead Housewife," a closer look at feminism by the author of "Take My Wife Anywhere," in which J. Walter Tombestone investigates himself too closely in front of a group of admirers. This form of Grudge Therapy is catching on like a pleasant diease all across America; many names have appeared at the home of Dr. Grudge in need of help. A reformed member of the F.B.I., he has been tailing himself for fourteen years in an effort to Get At The Truth.

<<>>

We will continue our six-part serious on the life on seemingly ordinary Peculiarites entitled "I Wonder the Streets of Old New York.":
ah, the smell of lice squads
the half-baked politician
his inorganic possibilities displayed
all over forty-ninth street
in an obvious bid for power.

The winner is stretched in Bloomingdale's window as an example of Western art. Well, that's the way God planned it. I leave you as I found you -- only some time later.


[Main Page][In His Own Write][A Spaniard in the Works][Skywriting By Word of Mouth]
[Other Writings] [Links][Winners of My Award][Webrings]


This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page