October 16 1997
Taste

sometimes i fall back into it
and i put my tears back into it
something keeps me hanging on

i chose this pen
because of you
i pick my songs
because they remind me of you
i pick my friends..
im looking for you

i let go a lot-but
sometimes i come back
i dont know why. do you?
wake me up. be the first
thing i hear-you said you lved that.
was it just me? or everyone.
hm?
you made me fall in
and i dont know why
it stopped.

im looking and searching
for a different song
but i cant find one.
you asked me to love a longer song.
endless repeat.
long enough? it hasnted stopped
yet.

i wonder if you're okay
i wonder why im still waiting
why the fuck do i still want you?
im hiding
the second i show it im beaten down.
i know not to feel this
but i do

October 16
memory

you slept in my bed
i think you know that
you were here, lying
beside me. holding onto
nothing, counting my pajamas

i kept asking you why?
im still asking you why.
if you'd let me in.

so tonight i finger dusty letters
and breathe you in. You
still linger. im afraid you always will

my finger tips are chilly
you always made the cold seem
colder.
no one sleeps in my bed anymore.
do you remember maybe?