Simeon would like to dedicate this book “to all the little people who helped make me great:  Mom, Dad, God…Artspace Joe ‘The Jackhammer’ Schlesser, Clint Thorne ‘In My Side’, Lee ‘I’m Better Than Most of the People I've Slept With’ Cross, Emily ‘My Face is on Your Shirt’ Davidson, Elizabeth ‘Gothic Little Storm Clouds of Death Girl’ Jenson wherever she might be, Jared ‘Macho Macho Man’ Cook, Spurge because they put me on their tape cover once, Markle ‘The Sparkle’ King for touching me in that special spot, Ralph ‘Dick’ Freeman, Diane ‘You're not my Dad’ Vinson, Tofer ‘Old Man Earl’ Towe, Kay the Cenex Lady for helping us out with the entertainment on those hard to write nights, Luke ‘The ASS-asin’ Stalder for being a general pain in the butt when I needed someone to ‘Kick it’, Carl ‘The Enforcer’ Kurokawa for keeping me employed, Dan ‘The Dinger’ Eikland, Eryn ‘My Little Sphincter’ Johnson for being a freak, and of course the scads of beloved Scabs who showed up to hear this crap when it was originally presented in its oral form.  Thanks.”
 

 Gustavo would like to dedicate this book “to all of the aforementioned people, only better.  Except Simeon’s Mom and Dad.  Not that they're not nice or anything, but they really didn't help me all that much.  Except I guess I did have a few meals at Simeon’s house, so I guess I should thank his Mom.  Okay.  But I’d also like to thank my Mom because if it weren't for her…uhm…Well I guess she didn't really help all that much with Psychobabble either.  But I have had a few meals at her house too, so I guess I should thank her.  Thanks Mom!  I'd like to thank Simeon for all the late nights we shared putting this creature together and for just being my friend.  I’d also like to thank Christina ‘My Main Squeeze’ Gehring, who is at the present time my girlfriend and my sunshine, my only sunshine, for being understanding enough about my weekend escapes to write Psychobabble and not suspecting that what Simeon and I really do is hit the bars and pick up red-hot sugar mamas to take back to our bungalow.  Also I would like to thank the Tidy Bowl man who is always in my thoughts and prayers, Charlie ‘The Tramp’ Chaplin for his guidance and support, Bob the alien who lives in the computer and actually writes all this crap for us, Nicole ‘Tommy’s Squeeze’ Kidman for a memorable weekend in Livingston, Sigmund ‘Got any Nude Pictures of Your Mom?  Wanna Buy Some?’ Freud for answering all my grammatical questions, and I would especially like to thank The Marquis ‘Squeeze Them Harder’ De Sade for his helpful and timely advice, Jason ‘I Walk Real Slow but They Always Trip Anyway’ Vorhees and Freddy ‘I’ll be Back Again’ Krueger for not coming to get me in my sleep, Timothy ‘The Grinnin’ Dumpster Diver’ Benjamin for getting us some cool computer games and for just being his cheery self, the creators of the incredible info-mercial (whoever they may be), Mountain Dew, the letters D and K and the number 4, our Forefathers, Paul ‘Help I’m White and I Can’t Get Down’ Revere for his legendary silver tea sets, The Monkeys, Zamfir, Boxcar Willy, The Political Blonde, The Sexy Brunette, Marla ‘Guess What Else I Got Pierced’ Wick for hating almost everything we’ve written except the Uvula Educational Filmstrip #346, Jim ‘Gomer Pile’ Neighbors for not being there for us, Elvis ‘The Pelvis’ Presley for not being alive to sue us, Barry ‘The Schnoz’ Manillow for writing the Band-Aid song, and of course, the Oscar Meyer people for all their help.  Oh, and Rachael ‘Baldy-Head Gimp Girl’ Havener for being my test audience, and all the others whom I subjected to hell by making them listen to these stories more than once.  I would like to thank the Academy for their recognition of my work and Simeon again for making Psychobabble a painful challenge instead of a simple pleasure.  I would like to thank Starsky and Hutch, The Fall Guy, Charlie’s Angels, Magnum P.I., Miami Vice, Automan, Family Ties, Mork and Mindy, Battlestar Galactica, Dif’rent Strokes, One Day at a Time, Welcome Back Kotter, What’s Happening?, The Greatest American Hero, M*A*S*H, All in the Family, Facts of Life, Knight Rider, Dukes of Hazard, Three’s Company, Beretta, Sanford and Son, Benny Hill, old Saturday Night Live, Silver Spoon, Webster, Eight is Enough, The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Grizzly Adams, The Love Boat, Love American Style, Hardcastle and McCormick, SCTV, Little House on the Prarie (sniff sniff), Hill Street Blues, St. Elsewhere, B.J. and the Bear, The Wizard, The Master, The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, The Electric Company, The Young Ones, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Soap, Taxi, The Jeffersons, Misfits of Science, The Six Million Dollar Man, Wonder Woman, Mission:  Impossible, Flipper, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Get Smart, The Incredible Hulk, Kung Fu Theater, Superman, Laugh-In, The Munsters, Fantasy Island, The 6 o’clock News (so I wouldn’t have to watch Hee Haw), Davey and Goliath, Batman, and all the other shows that helped to mold my mind into what it is today.
 

(Editor’s note:  While Christina is no longer Gus’ girlfriend, they are still good friends and he does still visit her at the Women’s Correctional Facility every chance he gets.)