Welcome to the pref’ace (pref’is) n.  an introduction, as to a book or speech.-v.t. 1, give a preface to. 2, introduce; precede. 3, what women have in the morning before they put their face on.  This is the part of the book where we’re supposed to tell you, the reading audience, where Psychobabble came from, why we write it, perhaps a few amusing anecdotes, etc., etc.  Well, far be it from us to observe tradition.  Instead, we’d like to talk about the wonderful creature that is the snail (snayl) n. a soft-bodied animal with a shell that can enclose its entire body.  But it’s not a very strong shell, is it?  How many times have you stepped on an icky, squooshy snail?  If you aren’t in such a hurry and listen close, you can hear their high-pitched scream of excruciating pain and the death rattle of an invertebrate.  Snails are funny creatures with well rounded sense of humor and a fairly interesting social structure.  They are ruled by the Grand High Exalted Poobah Snail who is practically all-knowing  as far as a snail is concerned.  Snails are very wise in nature also, but these paragons of solitude and independence have but one drawback.  Since the time of their birth, snails have but two major choices in life.  They can either eat or procreate.  If you think you’ve got problems, try decided between a double bacon cheeseburger and emasculation.  I personally would go with the cheeseburger, but not because I want to eat it.  Well with this little bit of trivia out running rampant among your brain cells, let’s get down to business.  First of all, you English majors (yes Elizabeth, this means you) will notice that the shorts held within the covers of this magnificent tome are not written in the same format that most shorts are, but when you consider that these short stories or ideas were written to be read aloud, it should all make perfect sense, or at least give you a clue as to the reason they are presented to thusly to you, our beloved reader.  And if you still don’t like it them write your own damned book.
 We could make this longer, but why?  It’s just the preface.  Or the pre-feces as you may come to know it by.  Enjoy.