I love America.  Not the country, the music group.  The country sucks.  I hate rascists.  I think they should all be shot before they breed and infect our culture with their unpure blood.  Television rots your mind.  Cigarettes rot you lungs.  Given a choice, I'll smoke, thank you very much.  If an ant were watching people milling about on the streets from the top of the Empire States Building, what would it compare them to?  If I were standing on a street corner and somebody asked if I had the time, I would say "no, but I've got a Thermo Nuclear detonator.   Oh no wait, I left it in my other pants."  If I were a cop, I wouldn't carry a nightstick.  I'd carry a big pepperoni.  That way if I ever had to beat anyone, it wouldn't hurt them much but it would make them feel really stupid.  I don't think that there should be any restrictions on the purchase of firearms.  I think that anyone should be able to buy a gun whenever they felt like it, but I think bullets should be banned.  See what the NRA says about that.  I think Billings should have a subway system.  Sure, it would be a short train ride, but it would give all the wannabe 'gangstas' a place to hang out so they could feel more authentic.  We wouldn't want them to feel unneeded, would we?  The number 4 is a special number.  It is the only number whose spelling consists of as many letters as the number represents.  That would make it a left brained thinker.  It is a very straight-laced number if you stop to think on it.  All straight lines and ninety degree angles.  The only other numbers like it are 1 and 7.  There's not much you can do for one and seven, though.  They just don't have the personality that 4 has.
    Welcome to the only game show designed with men in mind.  Yes, it's Name That Power Tool.  Followed by Name That Football Team.  Followed by Name That Former Sports Celebrity Who is Now Doing Chincy Beer Commercials Because They Blew Out Their Knees During Some Stupid Sports Accident And Will Never Play Again...Let's say that God does truly exist.  I have trouble believing that he would only make one test planet.  I am sure that he has made planets all over the universe with various life forms because it would be boring watching our planet.  So lets say there are other test planets about, possibly hundreds of them.  One of them had to have worked.  My question then is this.  How does one go about requesting a transfer?  Should we perhaps write the head office?  Or should we go straight to the complaints desk?  There is a line though.  It's a thousand year wait.  Seems everybody has got something to bitch about.  Ah well, c'est la vie.  Perhaps we should make the best of what we got.  Nah, let's bitch.  It will kill some time on the line.