12/13/99



oxalis makes me sad.
he is the kind of wholesome
that i never, ever had a chance of becoming.
that none of us did, damiana, hemlock…
and i don't know why he deserves that happiness.
or i don't know why we don't.
and i feel like, if that health really exists
(and for most of my life i believed it a myth)
then i've failed, somehow, in not achieving it.