A sigh of frustration escaped. "What is it I'm trying to say?" he thought for the tenth time in an hour. His fingers hovered over the keyboard in stark contrast to the clicking around him. Lou's focus wavered as his eyes caught the reflection of the window in his monitor. The blinds were swaying to the music of his fan. Sunlight peaked playfully in and out of the office.
Shaking his head, Lou swiveled in his chair and looked out the window. It was easier to concentrate in the morning. The sun was on the other side of the building, and Lou could convince himself that the gloom outside his window was everywhere. "You're much better off inside," his work ethic would quip. But the afternoon brought the streaming sun, dispelling the myth.
A woman and a man sat at a picnic table a bit below his window. They chatted comfortably in one of the many pockets of shade provided by the trees. The woman's body leaned forward as she listened to the man, her head tilted back as she pulled on her cigarette. Smoke scattered from her lips as she nodded her agreement with something the man said. The smoke seemed to merge with her light hair as Lou watched. Most of the shady pockets sheltered similar scenes; as they did every Friday afternoon at this government office building.
Lou's mind drifted back to a few lines in an e-mail he'd read a few minutes ago. "You should never wait in line to see a film. It's especially sinful if there's a perfect day waiting to be enjoyed." "The same goes for writing a status report," he thought as he got up and walked to the office In/Out whiteboard. He smiled as he pushed the magnet next to his name to the Out column and wrote Back in 15 next to it.
The breeze was warm, despite the shade, as Lou walked down the front steps of the building. He started pulling off his sweatshirt as he hit the sidewalk. "I'll just walk around the building," he thought, as he stepped off the sidewalk and walked along the dirt path next to the building. His black T-shirt soaked up the sun as he turned the corner and Lou squinted against the brightness.
A few pairs of eyes followed Lou as walked, and he unconsciously picked up his pace. The attention was short-lived, however. He wasn't their boss. Eyes drifted back to each other and smiles returned. A few chuckles reached Lou's ears as he continued along the back fence. Beyond the fence, weeds framed the train tracks that brought the rumbling beasts past Lou's window each day. It was a comforting sound from his childhood, like Daisy, the German Shepherd he used to have.
As he passed another corner of the building, Lou became aware of his pace. With only a few of his 15 minutes behind him, he struck out along the fence, leaving the building behind. The land rose gently to meet the street, while the tracks tunneled under it. Lou smiled at the good likeness of Shakespeare that was spray painted on the concrete just outside the tunnel. The graffiti under it was obscured by algae growing around the pools of water next to the tracks.
Puffing a little, Lou reached the sidewalk and turned to look down at the tracks as he walked over them. They drew a grey line, framed in green, out to the horizon. Lou's attention came back to the sidewalk as he walked on, and he noticed a woman walking toward him. She was small in the distance, but as he stared, her brown hair and gait showed her to be Jess, a coworker he hadn't seen in many months.
Her hair was shorter than he remembered, but it framed her rounded features nicely. The rest was as he remembered: Short and pleasantly plump, with wide hips and a great ass. She was that much sexier because she knew it; a real woman, and cute as a button. Those beautiful eyes smiled as she recognized him, her high, rosy cheeks following as she said, "Hi Lou."
Her tone was friendly, but her pace didn't change. "Hi Jess," he said. Her smile was contagious.
"How's it going?" she said.
"Good; and yourself?" he said as they passed each other.
He turned his head to catch her, "Very well, thanks," as she walked on.
Lou's eyes lingered for a moment to admire the view before turning back to the sidewalk ahead. "What a woman!" he thought, unaware of the new spring in his step.
His mind wandered back to their last conversation as he continued around the bend in the road. Jess had been standing outside the cafeteria, talking with a coworker, when Lou had wandered down on his coffee break.
"Hey, I hear you're leaving us," she said. She had a way of being playful, while remaining completely professional.
"Yeah, but it's only to the building across the tracks," Lou said. He gladly put off buying a cup of coffee as Jess's coworker said goodbye. In the bustle of the hallway, they were forced to stand closer than personal space normally dictated. Unsurprisingly, this didn't seem to bother Jess; her years in the military ensured that few things did.
"Well, the only time I see you now is when you pick up your mail," she said. He didn't know how to take her regretful tone. In the silence that followed, she said, "We'll miss you."
"Hey, I'll miss you too... But you'll see. I'll be over here all the time," he said. His jovial tone came easily. He was eager to dismiss what he was sure was obligatory concern.
She smiled and said, "Well, good luck."
"Thanks. I'll see you later," he said as they went their separate ways.
Lou had never been easy with women. He always thought of the perfect response, the perfect joke or the perfect thought when the moment had passed; it never occurred to him that something less than perfect might have sufficed. Inevitably, in the bitter moments that followed these conversations, he would imagine their response to his timely perfection.
"Let's be honest," Lou said. "I think it's best to be honest when the news is good." He spread his arms wide as he bestowed his wisdom.
"O.K., I'm game. What's the news?" Jess said.
"I find you very attractive, in every sense of the word," he said. His grin diminished in the serious moment.
Her eyes widened in surprise. Then doubt set in. "Come on. You're just a kid. I could be your mom," she said.
"What're you talking about? There's maybe 10… 15 years between us," he said.
Her eyes narrowed. She thinks this is a game, he thought.
"Why didn't you say anything before now?" she said. Her smile was smug.
"Are you kidding? You've been nothing but professional in my presence. You never took the flirting too far. I figured everyone got their fair share," he said.
"Well maybe that's true, but I might have looked at you differently if you'd made a pass at me," she said.
He could hear the truth in the statement. It was disappointing, and exciting. Still, he hesitated. He took a long pull at his drink, while he pretended to think. "So, what would've happened if I'd asked you to supper?" he said.
The corner of her mouth turned up playfully. "I might've said yes," she said. He could have fallen into her eyes at that moment. That's what makes her so great, he thought.
"What if I'd touched your hand as you reached for the bread?" he said.
She mulled it over. "I might've looked up in surprise, but I probably wouldn't have removed it," she said.
Frustrated by her doubletalk, he pressed on. "What if I'd leaned in for a good night kiss?" he said.
Suddenly, tires squealed behind Lou, snapping him out of his fantasy. He barely had time to acknowledge the sound before he heard a crash and the protest of twisting metal as a car slammed into the sidewalk and jumped the curb. His body suffered a terrible impact and blackness covered all.
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