I got my computer,
I've been on the net.
How good do you want it?
How good does it get?
I've popped off the cover,
I've swapped out the parts.
I increased the RAM,
and gave it more heart.
A new CD ROM,
and lots of games.
Now I spend all my time
creating user names.
My inbox is full
of spam I don't need.
All this extra stress
causes my nose to bleed.
I'll quit all this soon,
and get something to eat.
Oh, look at this web page.
Isn't that neat?
They say I'm addicted,
I know that's not true.
I'd just rather send E-mail
than telephone you.
My boss left a message,
he said never mind.
Don't bother coming back,
employees he can find.
I wasn't upset,
I didn't even mind.
I just browsed the net,
To see what I could find.
Page after page,
downloading fast.
Until my boyfriend came home,
looking aghast.
He ranted and raved,
giving me hell.
I told him to leave,
I didn't need him, as well.
Now I'm alone,
but not worried at all.
I've got my computer,
I'm having a ball.
I really am hungry,
I need something to eat.
My legs are all tingly,
I can't feel my feet!
I peer under my desk,
my nerves are on fire!
It appears that my legs
are turning into a wire!
I wiggle, I stretch and
tug with all my might.
I'm plugged in too deep,
what a horrible fright!
I'd scream, but I know
I'm alone in the house.
I'd call the police,
but my hand is a mouse.
My skin is silvery,
getting harder, too.
I cry in desperation.
Oh, what do I do?
I try to sing
to calm myself down.
But wonder of wonders,
what is that sound?
Out of my mouth
comes a loud bong.
Now what else
could possibly go wrong?
I'm no longer hungry,
for power I can get.
I don't need no money.
I can't have no pets.
I enter Cyberspace,
and look all around.
It's really quite dizzying,
where's up? where's down?
It takes me a moment
to sort all this out.
Then it hits me, this is home!
And I'm off with a shout!
Everything is weightless,
I feel so free.
And a whole spectrum of colors
is what I can see.
I zip and I zap
with the ebb and flow
of electrical pulses
that don't move slow.
Then in an instant,
I see something new.
Something green and blobby,
with streaks of blue.
I move in closer to see what it is.
Lost my body, but curious as ever.
It turns my way and sees me, too,
with evil eyes that look really clever.
I know what it is,
it can't fool me.
A full blown virus,
is what it has to be.
I'm not scared,
I've had my shots.
Course it can't hurt me,
I hope it rots.
He's evil, he's wicked,
I really do hate him.
I can't believe they
took time to create him.
He really can't hurt me,
but he can do some damage.
I hope I can stop him
from this senseless rampage.
I must find a weapon,
a knife or a sword.
But hey, in Cyberspace,
I can kill with a word!
He moves in closer,
I back away quick.
Now I can smell him,
it makes me feel sick.
I'm straining my brain
to think of the words.
It's grin is so wicked
my thoughts turn to curds.
I close my eyes,
and take a deep breath.
Then an idea comes to me
of how to bring it death.
I use my mind
to create a small room.
Made of titanium
with an iron loom.
And now I must lure him,
I must think of a trick.
If he were a man,
I'd just tug on his wick!
But he is a Virus,
an idea, a thought.
He can create havoc
if he is not caught.
So, in my mind,
I create a dummy.
It looks like a program
for playing Gin Rummy.
Into the box
I throw the bait.
Then I run off to a distance
to watch and wait.
I don't wait long,
it's starting to move.
It's sniffing, it's snarling,
it's in the groove.
I hold my breath,
just a few more feet.
I've almost caught it,
this is really neat!
It's in the room,
I just need to seal it.
It turns, it stares at me...
Oh God! I feel it!
He's smart and clever,
he knows it's a fake.
The fury in his eyes
turns them opaque.
I concentrate hard
to seal the box,
and with a loud slam,
he's locked in detox!
I hear his squeals
of outrage and fury.
I have to get rid of it,
I really must hurry.
So I think of the box
standing there all alone.
Then I think of it not there,
and "poof", it is gone.
Where it has gone,
I give not a thought.
I know there are more
of what man has wrought.
I know what to do,
my mission is clear.
I can't waste time thinking
or shedding a tear.
I imagine some more,
and when I look down,
I'm carrying an UZI,
dressed in a armored gown.
Now I will hunt,
and seek them out.
And with my new weapons,
kill all of them, no doubt!