In a historic news telecast, CNN announced the discovery by University
of California's Department of Archaeology that the world actually
started exactly in 1956, the year of birth of William H Gates III.
The
Gregorian Calendar is being revised, and all dates will henceforth
use
this date as a base. This also solves the Y2K problem - Microsoft style.
All observatories in the US were demolished last Friday after the
declaration that Redmond was the center of the Universe, and thus there
was no point looking around elsewhere. Bill (Clinton) has ordered all
countries to do the same, failing which Iraq type bombings could happen.
All references in books/papers, scientific journals and chocolate
wrappers to The Milky Way are being replaced with, you guessed it,
The
Microsoft Way.
Astro-watch.
Astronauts, budding and existing, and their families are issued a
warning - All NASA aircraft/shuttles and rockets will be running on
Microsoft software from 2001 onwards after a pumping in of several
trillion dollars into NASA by Microsoft.
Goodbye, Jupiter! Goodby space exploration !
Persons living near Houston, Cape Canaveral, Fort Lauderdale and Area
51, please relocate if you value your lives.
Now we finally know which OS the aliens in Independence Day were using.
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Jhatpat uses Microsoft products to create great software like E-Bill,
our electronic commerce (Billing) software - the alpha release has
been
delayed by a year to 2002 due to serious architecture problems in DCOM
technology.