tuesday, febraury 12, 2008
this can't be all there is.....

i have so much to say right now, but it'll have to wait. i'm starting my life over one more time. this time, however, i'm not unhappy about it. i needed the change.

kisses for you..... until i return!

tuesday, febraury 12, 2008
i'll be countin' up my demons
hoping that everything's not lost

WHEW! ok... can I just say that I.... yeah..... this is an interesting experience for me. It has been almost a year to the day since I did anything in here. WOW! Obviously I couldn't read the entire site. Obviously... I wouldn't want to. WOW! AGAIN!

I've been fiddling around with facebook lately. lookin' up people just to look 'em up. ya know... I hadn't realized that I really don't know very many people. Those that I know aren't from the past that I've written about in these pages and pages....

I can say that I have come so far since I opened up the first page of this site... Missing Peace.....

With everything that I've been reading, it's no wonder to me why I don't have any of those people in my life - except, of course, my wonderful husband. Oh, my parents and I are also still very close. But the others that I fussed over so much. *shaking my head* I really ran them off... some quicker than others.

It's a shame really. There are actually a couple that I'd love to talk to again. To say, "hey... look at me! I did it! I'm ok!!!" but it doesn't really matter. Because, in all honesty, with what I have discovered the last couple of days while messin' with Facebook... most of the people I talked to and about were lying to me as much as I was lying to them - or, I like to believe that I was lying to myself and believing so much of it that I told it as truth. Not everything........ there were a couple of people who I was pretty true to. Not so sure they were so true to me however. Cowards mainly. At least, with what I know now... yeah.... wow. I hate that I hurt as much as I did back then over them.

Ah, but life goes on. And it does, really. I still have some really bad times and some really great ones too. But I don't really sit and fumble around with my being...

still listenin to my music these days... good ole coldplay... "tell me your secrets, ask me your questions, lets go back to the start, running in circles... what's all this silence about. nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame to see us part.... yeah, but nobody said it was easy... nobody said it would be this hard.. i'll take ya back to the start... yeah. LOL... right.

tell me ya love me, come back to haunt me, ah i rush to the start. running in circles, chasing my tail.... coming back as we are.... LOL no, no one said it was easy... it's such a shame we should part...........

ah.. this is great! i'm glad I'm back. hope someone comes around... good night!

oh, and kisses for you...