Part 1: Bearings where am I now in my life?


1."You can't steal second base and keep one foot on first." -unidentified aging junior executive
..In the game, we all know it's impossible to run on just one foot, unless you're -really- talented.. Well, I see life as a huge baseball game.. home plate being birth, first base being adolescence, second being adulthood, and third being old age.. then, somewhere between second and third, we start the whole life thing over again with our children.. and in baseball, you have to know how to play the game.. same thing with the game of life..
2."We are always getting ready to live, but never living." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
..I always thought I was living, until one day I woke up and realized that sitting at home on my ass all the time wasn't living.. I wanted to be around people, experience new things.. Well, I did just that.. I met a new person, and experienced self mutilation.. when David saw the "M" on my arm- he flipped a lid and gave me what I needed.. a grand ass chewin.. then, him and my conscience told me that that wasn't living.. that wasn't how I wanted to live.. this was more like dying! So I came around my 'old' crew again, who all stood by my side the whole time.. why? I dunno.. but they did and realized that just sitting at home, goffin off with these people who I loved more then anything was living enough for me..
3."Our life is fritted away by detail... Simplify, simplify." -Harry David Thoreau
..In my time of being here on Earth, I have seen too many people analyze too much stuff, and just give up.. I try to do the total opposite- I try to just roll with the flow.. when people decide to learn that much, life'll be a hell of a lot easier for them, and the people around them..
4."Bad time have a scientifice value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
..I never have been the "ideal" learner.. I learned what I wanted tom and that was that for the time.. but I was/am a good enough learner to know what the learning part of the lesson was supposed to be, and grasped hold to it and remembered it..
5."It's good to fail now and then- you learn a lot more out of failure than you do out of success." -Ian Hunter
..I experienced both success and failure in my time.. everyone has.. I've always been told by some few family members and peers at school that I would never make anything of myself, and at on time I believed them.. but to this day, I HAVE made something of myself, I HAVE failed those who told me differently just by doing something that I'm proud of.. I have found the part of me that I knew years ago, I found my ability in writing, I found my ability of usage of words in my writing, and I have found my ways of interacting with new people.. I also failed because I told myself I would, but I succeeded because I am where I am today.. I never was all that intrested in proving people wrong.. I was always intrested in showing them the real me.. the one others knew.. the me everyone liked.. I finally showed the people who once told me a bunch of bullshit, that they can believe in me..
6."A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and inbetween does what he wants to do." -Bob Dylan
..Like Rob Thomas says in "Girl Like That, "I wake up quick like I want to, yeah but I stay out much too late" I get up pretty quick when I have to, and go to bed at night.. okay.. but during the time that I'm awake.. I'm full of energy.. I go and go and go.. I do whatever floats my boat.. I allow nobody to tell me what I -should- be doing, or what I -need- to be doing.. I do what -I- wanna do, what -I- think I could be doing, what -I- think I need to do.. I CAN control my life, and I need no one else to think -they- can control it for me.. I'm doing a damn good job myself- or I like to think so anyway..
7."I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome trying to succeed." -Booker T. Washington
..I had to teach myself that success isn't everything- my eighth and ninth grade Technology teacher, Mr. Tucker,  helped me out in the process of me learning this by telling me his own personal stories about how he failed.. but he was always quick to come back with "But I kept on until I succeeded".. It took me forever and a few days to realize that I can have success- there were so many things I let myself give up on- until I got to his vlass.. he wouldn't let me 'just give up'..he made me do the very best that I could do.. he helped me realize that even the simplest things had success behind them.. not just the hard ones.. thanks Tuck for being there when I needed you..
*8."There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -Albert Einstein
..This is one of the three seedthoughts I did in front of my Psychology class.. I remember this one off the top of my head.. I believe that miracles can and will happen.. What happened to Mat was a tragedy.. but a miracle in itself because there is someone up there watching out for him as well as everyone else.. had it not been for that small miracle, his mom would have pulled that plug and he'd be dead today.. but she didn't, he heard her and she saved him.. she kept him on life support.. Another miracle that has happened in my own family, is that my grandfather lived twenty-two years knowing he had colon cancer.. and lived his life how he wanted to live it.. on the Alabama River.. he was happy.. he had Lil' Bit, she had him.. he had all of us.. we all had him.. we loved him very much, and miss him very much.. then everything just all of a sudden happened at once.. he went in for surgery to see if they could get the tumors out.. but they were too big.. and by some small miracle.. we kept him for another month..