Last night, A friend and I were hanging out like we always do.. we talked about abortion, music, Columbine, school system at school, and the law/life in general.
corruption:(cor·rup·tion)k&-'r&p-sh&n; noun; 1 a : impairment of integrity, virtue, or moral principle : DEPRAVITY b : DECAY, DECOMPOSITION c : inducement to wrong by improper or unlawful means (as bribery) d : a departure from the original or from what is pure or correct; 2 archaic : an agency or influence that corrupts
counterfeit: 'kaunt-&r-"fit; noun; 1 : something counterfeit : FORGERY; 2 : something likely to be mistaken for something of higher value ; adjective- 1 : made in imitation of something else with intent to deceive : FORGED ; 2 a : INSINCERE, FEIGNED b : IMITATION
imposture:Pronunciation: im-'päs-ch&r; noun; 1 : the act or practice of deceiving by means of an assumed character or name; 2 : an instance of imposture
You may be wondering what the point of all the definations is.. there's a very good point behind them. I'll get to it later.

Last night, we were hanging out at my house, eating our McDonalds when all of a sudden.. something sparked up a conversation about religion, how out of control the teachers at school get with their control, gun, drugs, Columbine, the law, and how fucked up our lives are, and are going to be for the rest of our life. It was on of our "deep in touch" nights.

Our teachers at school have so much power, that it's unreal. They threaten us with the whole 'Board of Education' thing which in my opinion is nothing but bullshit. Threaten those bastards with a lawsuit, and you'll have 'em offa your back.. although, not everytime will call for a lawsuit. So sometimes, that's totally out of the question. But they need to take control of the things going on in the schools around Montgomery. Not only here, but everywhere. It's sickening to see what goes on in a school all day, everyday. Very seldomely will you actually find someone who knows what they're doing or anyone who actually cares, and when you finally find that teacher or that person, you don't want to leave that person the next year, or they get fired. Lori had a teacher like that last year, but he got fired and went to Carver. Now, Carever's a hell of a lot worse off then Lee is.. but maybe they have some type of freedom over there. Lee is like a prison now. We have survalence camera in our ceiling now. Everyone says that that's good for us and the school, but they aren't if you sit there and think about it. If someone wants to do something, their going to do it.. camera or no camera. Nobody can see how miserable most people are at Lee. It's because the majority of the school are outcasts, and we're the ones who gets blamed for everything that goes wrong, rather it's our fault or not. That brings me to the music part..

This song tells so much. There's one part that I would love to point out to a lot of people.. and thank you Lori for helping me find that point I wanted to make. When something in this country goes wrong, who gets blamed? The artists who speak the truth. People tell kids today to be their selves, speak up for themselves, to tell the truth no matter the situation.. but when somebody finally does that for us, people get scared of it and point fingers. Then they spread shit. Shit happens. Shit goes down. Parents don't want us listening to Eminem or Marilyn Manson because a: they speak their mind, b: they speak the truth, c: they don't want to pay $18.00 for a piece of plastic that is full of the truth, and vulgar language. The only difference between Eminem's songs, and Garth Brooks's song The Thunder Rolls is the language, and the kind of music it is.. Garth is country, Em is rap. Don't get me wrong.. I'm a long term fan of Garth Brooks, but some of his lyrics are just like the shit going on today. Everytime I ask my mom to buy this one cd for me, she tells me no. Well, next time I ask, this is the point that will be brought up. She hates Eminem. It understandable.. from her point. But I also have my own point. People know me as a rebellion teen, they know me to speak my mind, and they know me to be me.

Counterfeit comes in to play right there. I consider myself as counterfeit. When it comes to being around my mom, I'm not me. I'm not the person that people know. I'm someone totally different. I don't joke around like I do around other adults and my friends. I have to be a saint around her. I have to watch my language around her. I have to watch my personality around her. I have to watch my actions around her. I have to be my sister around her. I cannot be the person that I know, that Lori knows, that Brad knows, that Matt knows, that anyone knows. I have to be the person I was when I was 5 years old. I have to be the person that writes poetry every 5 minutes just to please her, while around her. I have to be the fakest person anyone knows when I am around her. It's sickening to me to be that other person. You can ask anyone I know, I'm quiet and shy around her. I wish I could just say "Fuck it. I'm my own person, and I will be who I am when I'm around her" but I can't. She gets hurt too easily, and it's not comfortable living in this house with her mad at me.

The point to all of those definations is this: Teens lives today have been totally messed up. People can say what they will about that, but every teen has their own view of how their life is. Nobody can tell us how to live, what to say, how to dress, what music to choose, who to hang out with, who to associate with, even our religion. "If you're not yourself, you're fake." Lori said that. I believe it, because I am that. I'm that around my mama, and I hate that I have to be that. Our lives got fucked up when those 15 people got killed in middle America. And I know that that's one thing I'm going to get shit for, but it's true. We feel bad for those people, but our lives are now fucked up because of that. Nobody knows how bad that hit people in other states.. they focued only on middle America. People are always saying "those 13 people" It was 15.. get the numbers straight, or drop it all together.