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Sports for personal growth and high fashion

 

My son Peter has been playing soccer and baseball for 12 years, basketball for 8, and other sports between seasons. Those numbers are impressive when employers look for job experience on a resume. But he's a high school kid, and we're talking sports here, not employment. But for Peter, sports is his work. His school. His present and his future. Whatever profession he chooses, it will certainly have something to do with sports.

In the early years, Peter's natural ability made it too easy for him to be one of the top players. This promoted a kind of cocky confidence, but not a consistent work ethic. He put out for games, but goofed off at practice. Then, some of those players who sat on the bench in sixth grade, began to beat his batting average because they practiced harder. So, Peter went to work. Now he sweats for his starting posi-tions, and generally keeps them, thanks to excellent coaching and an engine that revs for the starting lineup.

How do parents fit into this picture? We're the fuzzy little figures in the background; the ones holding his jacket and the bag of orange rinds. But we're there, and we support his involvement 100%. Not because we have any ambition for him to be a great athlete, we don't, but because we affirm his ambition to excel at something he loves. And because we believe that sports--when coached by adults who care more about improving players than scores--have helped Peter become a better person.

My husband has been a referee, scorekeeper, and chauffeur, season after prolonged season. My role has always been supportive spectator. The sports arena is an ideal place to network with other parents, and cheer for my child as well. In the process, I've developed a talent for catching up on gossip, while still managing to see Peter steal the ball and sink a basket.

Parent gossip, by the way, is essential stuff. It's our ticket to maintaining respect and control of the kids. If I know what's going on around school, it's much harder for Peter to pull a fast one. "But, NOBODY else has to be home by 12:00," doesn't fly when I have the facts. And if I know which schoolmates are drinking, I know enough to check on Peter when he's out with them. To get this vital information, I may miss some artful plays, but I don't miss the important moments. I know exactly when to glance over at the game to see my son make a brilliant move.

At the last basketball game, I was chatting with another mom about the drinking scene. We know which two kids are the primary boozers, and their mothers don't believe they drink. The issue for us is whether to tell those moms the truth. We'd want to know if our kids were drinking. In a flash, my eyes are under our basket as Peter steals the ball and leaps for a shot. Nice try. The conversation ended between to tell or not to tell. It's tricky when the evidence comes from a kid. If I tell, it's Peter who ends up with the rap, for telling me. I'm cautious about what I say; I want my kids to keep talking.

Whenever Peter begins a season with a new uniform, I wonder what inspires the designers of athletic clothing. Think about it. Have you ever seen a team uniform your kid would wear anywhere besides a game? Soccer shirts are like neon signs, and the shorts hang, baggy as balloons, to skinny socks with stripes.

Basketball uniforms repeat the saggy soccer disaster, with a change of footwear. Shoes on the court look like little racing cars--brassy stripes, aerodynamic curves, and a forward tilt. They're only missing headlights and a rear-view mirror.

When baseball arrives, there's a fashion shift, from baggy to clingy around the thighs. Add useless garters, canoe-like cleats, and a shirt modeled after a pillowcase, and you have the athlete's wardrobe for all seasons--baggy boxers to little leggings. Now, if these fashions are designed to attract attention, they do. Like peacock feathers and the costumes of circus clowns.

So why are sports so special--better than music, art, or any other involvement that helps kids develop talent, a work ethic, and self-esteem? Sports are not special or any better. They're simply the right match for Peter.

Through sports, he's learning to follow instructions, collaborate with peers, build skills, become a leader, value good health--the whole spiel we get from advice books and athletic departments. But what they say is absolutely true for Peter. He's a living advertisement for sports programs. He'd probably be a juvenile delinquent now if he wasn't an athlete. This kid needs a place to put his energy, to learn how to manage powerful emotions, and to win and lose with dignity.

School hasn't been as successful in fulfilling Peter's needs as participating in sports. That's why we spend Friday nights in the gym and endless afternoons on the field. We're promoting his education, almost as much as if we were sitting in back of the classroom and cheering while he solves a trigonometry problem.

Indeed, I wonder why there's no cheering section at school and little encouragement to attend the academic games they play. I can picture myself sitting at the back of a classroom, quietly attentive to this game, and supporting my child as he aces a history quiz. And to top it off, there's no history uniform.

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