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Youth violence: Blame, shame, and then?

 

When the subject of youth violence comes up, my finger points at guns first. Then moves to the next tragic flaw in our society, and the next. But each failing is fiercely defended by well-articulated reasons why it is not to blame . . .

Guns. Our laws enable kids to commit mass murder with weapons that kill rapidly from a distance. If they couldn't get the guns, they couldn't shoot. But: Guns don't cause kids to kill. The problem is our culture with its violent entertainment, immoral leaders, and parents who are too busy to teach values. A person who's fixed on killing, can do it with a knife or a piece of string. Blame the killers, not their weapons.

Entertainment. Watching and (vicariously) killing off countless people daily can dim the difference between screen life and reality. The scripted stories on TV, movies, and video games create the illusion that killing solves problems and produces heroes. But: Screen violence doesn't create mental instability or human killers; people who can't distinguish reality from fantasy need help. For most, the entertainment serves as an outlet for aggression, like playing or watching sports.

Culture. A culture that disdains the poor, weak, and different, while rewarding the rich and powerful, can cause hatred. A culture that lacks moral values and permits its children to grow up with little guidance, can expect tragedy. But: All cultures have disgruntled citizens and a few extremists who commit violent acts. However, ours arms them with semi-automatic weapons, and yes, the result is tragedy.

Parents. When parents aren't home, they can't know what their kids think and feel, can't teach values, and can't provide structure in their lives. But: Working parents can still connect with their kids, and some manage very well. The problem is parents who let their children slide without direction or discipline, whether the parents work or not.

The sad truth is that all of the above contribute to our country's shame, and there's no simple solution. We can pass laws that limit guns, and the gory content of what we see, hear, and read. But effective laws are likely to violate the constitutional amendments that protect the right to bear arms and freedom of speech. Maybe it's time to rethink whether those rights need further amending to fit the America we have become.

We also need to examine what causes a few of us to harbor such hatred, and to act it out so savagely. Some say Americans have always been violent. From Indian massacres, to black lynchings. Cowboys shooting six-guns, to street gangs and terrorists. Some say it's human nature to hate. That we organize our society by pecking order-wealthy white men on the top, black women and misfits on the bottom.

I don't believe that. Yes, there are "some" who seem to pump venom rather than blood through their veins, and obsessively revile those who are different or have mistreated them. Still, most of those avoid tragedy by venting with vicarious violence, or their fists, or with help from others. It's the one or few who plunge through the safety nets, the warning signs, and cause real grief. The killing, and then national mourning for the dead, and ourselves, because we don't know what to do. Or, it's too hard.

Law makers are unwilling to pass laws. Tax payers are unwilling to pass money. Parents are unwilling to pass time with their kids. Gun and entertainment makers are unwilling to pass up the market. Everyone is willing to pass the buck.

Not everyone. I've heard kids raise their voices. They ask for better role models, more places to have fun, smaller schools and classes. They think stronger student government and more peer counseling would help. So would reaching out to students who don't fit in. They do listen to parents and teachers, even if they pretend otherwise. And they want their parents present in their lives--not to add more rules or mistrust them, but to get to know them. Be at home, where they're centered and nurtured by a family.

Maybe it's time to listen to kids.

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