How to Order
Its easy to order your new head from NewHead!
Please make a note of the service that you require,
and the name of the head that you've chosen. Then sit at the computer,
and write to our discreet, non-tracable E-Mail Address:
misterdiabolical@yahoo.co.uk
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Please give us the details of your requirements, your full address,
telephone number, financial details, days and times that you'll be home
alone, and hat size. Maybe you've seen the head and body of you're dreams
somewhere... we'll need to find them at a vunerable time too. Just leave their
discription and location with us. They can run but they cant hide.
Once we've received your mail, we'll be right on the case. All you do is sit back, relax, and wait for a surprise visit from your surgical saviours. We might even phone you in the early hours with some eerie heavy breathing. It's all part of the service. You can rely on New Head to observe full confidentiality, but please... not a word to the Authorities. |
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Complaints Department
Jack and his associates will be chasing up any complaints
by forwarding them to our honest henchmen, messrs Burke&Hare,
who will be visiting customers in the dead of night to retrieve our
property. New Head, like any corporate entity, do not like people who
complain, and always carry out reprisals in the time honoured corporate
manner. If you dont want your head sawn off (without anaesthetic), just keep
your mouth shut. OK? But for clients with some kinda death wish, please send
your compaints here:
misterdiabolical@yahoo.co.uk
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Contact New Head.com
People wishing further convincing that New Head's talents should be unleashed
onto your feeble body can have a telephonic word with Nurse Egor and pals at
our new call center. Just send your telephone number and credit card details
via Egor-Mail, and you'll recieve a not-so-free threatening deluge of aural
harassment hoping to pressurise you into signing up.
This ghastly torment by sales pitch will haunt you until you comply, and
you are fully obliged to pay up, one way or another. Wouldnt it be easier
just to submit to the surgery?
misterdiabolical@yahoo.co.uk
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