When Fox Attacks!
New Fox Specials!
Lately, you've been thrilled by such FOX TV specials as "When Animals Attack" and "World's Scariest Police Chases". Now, due to the success of these shows and others like them, FOX is proud to bring you the following specials in the coming months:
"When Birds Poop On Cars"- Hosted by Leonardo DiCaprio (Titanic's favorite bisexual). Witness the never-before-on-TV phenomenon of actual wild birds relieving themselves on cars. Watch bird excrement hurtle through the air at hundreds of miles per hour and dent the hoods of helpless cars!
"When Retards Play Sports"- Hosted by O.J. Simpson (America's favorite murderer). Marvel at the awesome spectacle of mentally retarded children and adults playing sports from football to archery. Watch Jerry's kids stumble over themselves while trying to play basketball! See violent retards in boxing matches with angry midgets! And, for the only time EVER on TV, see clips from the special "Retard X Games".
"When People Fart In Public"- Hosted by Carnie Phillips (the fat chick from Wilson Phillips). Be there as FOX brings you something no other network dares to: raunchy, smelly, room-clearing FLATULENCE! These farts are so nasty you'll be glad you can't smell through your TV!
"When Retards Break Things"- Hosted by Margaret Cho (America's only Asian comedian). Following in the footsteps of FOX's other successful "When Retards..." shows, this show promises even more heart-pumping excitement! See the mentally handicapped wreck cars, destroy priceless works of art, and even melt down a nuclear power plant!
"World's Nastiest, Most Hilarious STDs"- Hosted by Jaleel White (TV's Urkel). This show promises more of what you, our viewer, love most: Sexually Transmitted Disease! See the world's must humorous cases of Herpes Simplex, Syphillis, and pubic lice!
"When Weightlifters Cry"- Hosted by Bono of U2 (the world's most hated band). Witness the world's toughest men and women brought to tears in this thrilling new special. See men who bench press half a ton fall to their knees as 12 year old girls kick them in the genitals!
Stay tuned for more specials from the only network that would dare bring them to you...FOX!