The Twelve Year Old's Guide To Computing
========================================

(1) Vocabulary

Dude - Sir, Madame, Friend
Baud - X-rated software (i.e. "Like my new baud, Partygirls (dude)?")
     - Also can refer to the speed of one's modem (i.e. "My 300 baud
       modem does 1 million baud with this neat new prog I got!")
BPS - Not known to the average 12 year old hacker - just use baud
Warez - Pirated software (i.e. "Yo!  Dude, got any new warez?")
L8R - Later
Yo! - Pardon me
Pyr8 - Pirate (one who steals software but figures it's O.K.)
Rad - The very best (i.e. "Yo!  Dude!  Got any rad warez?")
Leech/Leach - One who takes your warez and gives you something in
              return you don't like
Kid - No one above the age of 12 uses a computer!
Hacker - Anyone who has the passwords to the principals computer
War - Yelling at some other kid that your school is better than theirs
Commie - Commodore 64 (the only REAL computer)
K00L - Interesting, the best, I flunked spelling and think that
       the key after the "9" is a "O"
IBM - Dad uses one to run Lotus 1-2-3


(2) A typical conversation between two 12 year olds

Scene : One 12 year old logs into the BBS of another 12 year old.  He is
looking for new games.  The name of the BBS is "Guns N Roses" and requires
that users use passwords.

-----

welcome to guns n roses bbs.no leaching.hit w for warez i want from you.
no fbi or cia.

LOGIN : CAPTAIN CRASH        <- CAPS LOCK is always pressed
PASSWORD : MOMSUCKS

validated.r u a pyr8?if no logout geek.l8r
GNR> W

==WAREZ LIST==

all users must ul me a new -no more than 2 hours old- warez every login.
here are warez im looking for

partygirls (neat baud)
karate hampsters from the planet skaterock
porno macs
expensive term
skate dudes
disc craker
the login password to lincun junior highz gradz computR
mci,atNt,sprint long distnc numberz
anything new

here are some of the new warez i got
if you are fbi or cia, go have sex with my mom

french pervert comix
skate or eat liver
wressl or die with hulk rogan
the flintstones skateboard with rock disk

GNR> ?

GUNS AND ROSES BBS
==================
(W)arez     (D)ownload
(U)pload    (U)sers
(K)00L stuff (B)ases
(L)8R       (C)hat with sisop

GNR> D
no dude.you leeched me.if you dont give me good warez,ill come to your
house and make you have sex with my mom.

GNR> U

FILE TO SEND> commieterm
TYPE (P,S,U)> P
PROTOCOL (Punter, Xmodem)> P

SEND...
  :::ERROR:::
SYSOP CHAT AT 12:17AM

yo dude.this is van halen.if you dont give me any K00L software im going
come to your house and kastr8 you.and i know when you live.

SORRY.  WHAT SOFTWARE DO YOU WANT???

read the warez list,butt wipe.and none of this pd stuff.

I DON'T HAVE ANY PIRATE SOFTWARE.

if u r fbi then im gunna break your neck.

OK.  L8R

CHAT ENDED

GNR> B

Message Bases
=============
(W)ar
(N)ew warez
(S)ex
(K)wit

GNR-B> S

MESSAGE #21 (girl sex) from user #8 (Skate Rat)

   i have sex everee ten minutes,you jerks.all of you suck and im the
   best.i have sex with 22 gerls at a tym.

GNR-B> W

MESSAGE #91 (oh yeah) from user #12 (Master Pirate)

   and not only that, your mother is having sex with me father...

GNR-B> K

GNR> L

---

That's the end of part #1.  For more pieces, call CompuTron BBS.  No
offense to twelve year olds.  Guide made by Frank Rolly (SYSOP).
Please send this text file around.