new moon correction: Bruce Sterling's "Highly anarcho" quote about ATI appeared on page 86. Not 81 as told in issue 91 of Activist Thymes. Thanks for noticing Scheptik. As you can see, unlike most paper newspapers, ATI is happy to print corrections right on its front page; rather than burying "said" on page 3!!! This issue goes out to the members of the band Rancid. Thanks, guys. Hello. Welcome to issue 92 of ATI, Actively Twisted Intelsat. We'll begin with: --------------> Random Notes from Ground Zero gr0und0@juno.com Hey folks. 2600 Magazine's Beyond Hope was GREAT. I had a blast checking out all the interesting panels, seeing some old friends and meeting people. Hopefully I'll have an article in the next issue about it. This time, I have a guest contributor, Taxula. But first, here's a few jokes to set the mood.. ********** JOKE #1: ********** Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something, and suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said, 'Throw the first PITCH!'" ********** JOKE #2: ********** Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Hillary says. The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks. "Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies. ********** JOKE #3: ********** Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved? A. The nation. And now, I present.. Taxula! Best Answer Award ----- ---------- -------- This year's award for the best answer to a whiney liberal question goes to Ben Beltzer, founder and director of the Interfaith Housing Coalition of Dallas. First, some background. Interfaith is a non-profit organization that helps homeless people get back on their feet. The people are given a place to live, clothing, and food. They have three months to complete educational programs, find their own housing, get a job, and save $1,200. So far, 800 people have graduated from the program and an independant study found 2 out of 3 still off the dole and off the street two years later. Interfaith takes no government money for its $690,000 budget because Beltzer doesn't like the paperwork or the rules that come with it. In fact, he returned $15,000 to the feds because, had he taken it, he would have been unable to enforce one of his firmest rules: do drugs and you're gone. Which leads us neatly to the whiney liberal question and the answer. Jay and Connie were a young couple on the program. Jay was caught using drugs, twice. The first time he was warned and sent to rehab, the second time they had to go. Jay picked up his young daughter and thrust her toward Beltzer asking the whiney liberal question, "YOU'RE not going to put her on the streets are you?" Beltzer looked at him clear eyed and replied, "No, YOU are." On a happy note, Connie is now clean, working, in her own apartment, and has full custody of both their children. And Jay? Who the heck cares? TAXULA (Sucking your wallets dry, not for me, but for the children.) --------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks, Ground Zero. And now for the Prime Anarchist Productions #'s run. PAP, as you know is a subsidiary of NOPE and Nope, it's not Sunday. It's Monday, September 1, 1997. 9am believe it or not. We begin our numbers run (a short one this week) - Wait! There's that Royal "we" again. To hell with that!! No more Royal we, no more Royal we. Long live the Royal we. I'm the only one writing this column, so for the rest of this article, yours truly, Prime Anarchist will refer to himself as "I." heheheheh. We are not amused. OK, why so short? I didn't have a lot of time to hunt stuff down. Why you might ask. Because "I" have been spending the last 3 days straight (almost literally) getting the all new ATI web page started. That's right, you heard it here first. That's right; Angelfire Communications Corporation decided to sponsor us with a free web page. Go look at it. http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ATI.html Teaching myself HTML is really fun. Carl of Franklinsnet helped with the graphics. OK, so here's the #'s run; and then on to news and stuff. http://www.amazon.com review your book, review someone else's. http://envirolink.org/mcspotlight/home.html Find out what's new around E-Coli hell. http://www.queenbee.net/members/pieman Get pied, or just look like one. http://www.netvideo.com/nobody This November let's put Nobody in The White House. OK, I guess we can Wait until the 00 year. But we'd Better hurry up and put Nobody in The White House. Casa Blanca. There were no letters to the Editor this week. Got a really weird letter Thursday, but we won't go into that. "If I shaved my..." well never mind, I said "we" wouldn't go there. CALENDULA - Sept 3, 1964. The Wilderness Act was passed. Sept 5, 1887. Crazy Horse was assassinated. Sept 8, 1763. Stephan Glotlov lands on Kodiak Island demanding Tribute for Empress Katherine's horse. They refuse And attack the Russians driving them back to about Where Alaska's farthest finger sits. Sept 9, 1919. Boston police strike. UPS workers loot for 3 days. Sep 10, 1997. Quarter moon. Give part of a howl. Sep 15, 1995. Largest mass arrest in US environmental history. 1,033. Wow. 14 to a cell? Sep 16, 1971. Greenpeace sets to sea for the first time. 1997. Full moon. Arouuuuuuuew. Sep 18, 1987. Pope John Paul II tells native American's to just Forget the past in a Phoenix, AZ speech. Sep 22, 1997. Equinox. Sep 23, 1997 3/4 moon. Sep 27, 1995. Clinton signs Salvage Rider into law."Scarey," says A local owl. "Where will I live?" Sep 30, 1882. First hydroelectric plant, WI. Oct 22, 1936. Bobby Seale born. Anyone know if that's New Haven? Nov 12, 1974. Karen Silkwood dies. Dec 4, 1835. Hot time in old town. Manhattan burned down. Or Were they referring to Chicago? London? Hmmm... Jan 10, 1901. Oil discovered in Texas. Jan 24, 1848. Gold discovered in California. Feb 1, 1960. Civil rights sit-ins begin. Feb 4, 1913. Rosa Parks born. Feb 17, 1778. Fernando Sor born. Feb 20, 1770. Fernando Carulli born. Feb 24, 1893. Andres Segovia born. Feb 26, 1964. Prime Anarchist born. Feb 27, 1973. 200 people occupy Wonded Knee. Pine Ridge SD. Mar 24, 1997. Partial Lunar Eclipse. Each state in a word. Or two. These are Prime Anarchist observations of the states we call our etats unidos. I've left out the ones I haven't seen yet, naturally, and I also alphebetized the thing. This is NOT in the order I experienced them. OK let's say it was. I visited these states alphabetically, have good reading: Arizona Dry Colorado High Connecticut Tiny Florida Fire ants Georgia Y'all Illinois Urban Indiana Soy Iowa Corn Kansas Leavenworth Maine Yonder Maryland Small Massachussetts Down Country Minnesota Nord Missoura Close to Leavenworth Nebraska Cruisin' New Hampshire Yuh. New Jersey No grass. New Mexico Adobe New York People. North Carolina Navy North Dakota Buffalo Ohio Columbus sux Oklahoma Fort Sill Pencil Vein Yeah Construction Rogues Island Tiniest South Carolina Army South Dakota Hot Springs Texas Cow oil Vermont Cow milk Virginia Hills West Virginia More hills Wisconsin Cheese milk Wyoming Missiles ------------>This list was NOT brought to you by Visi-Calc<-------------- disclaimer: The story you are about to read is to be completely ignored. I wrote this while Princess Diana was merely injured in a car crash. She hadn't expired yet. 4 hours later I learned of her death. Dead. I can't make fun of the dead. So until someone figures out the Zombification drug and brings her back to life, IGNORE THE FOLLOWING: Princess Diana dumped her car in the Chapamaquody River last night and lived to tell about it. She swam all the way to the Atlantic where the currents took her right up the east coast to the Peter Bent Brigham Hospital. She was found beached next to a dumpster behind a Pizza Hut on Brookline Ave. Now her boyfriend didn't fare so well. He was aparently trapped in the car until it reached the Federal Trades Commission building. He was thrown from the car and spit onto the beach like Jonah out of the whale, pronounced dead and promptly Knighted in a sunrise ceremony by Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd. While Princess Diana is somewhere between critical and really bad, Senator Kennedy is somewhere between Scarborough Beach, RI and Kennebunk ME. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This just in Webster. 1936. - Scaphism. Punishment. Pouring honey all over a convict's body and letting insects eat at him or her until s/he dies a slow tortured death. ... .. ... ... Smash your Television but keep your modem. For the revolution will not be televised. But it sure WILL be implemented on the web. New York, NY - Half a million people marched on the New York Post Office Friday to protest postal brutality. Catalyst for the march was an event exactly one year ago today on Columbus Avenue. A poodle was sniffing a letter carrier's back leg when worker Claude Debuse Concherto made a furtive gesture that cost him his job. The dog turned up dead, the house burned down with three people in it and the family Datsun's charred remains were found upside down in the back yard over a rose bush. After an investigation it was determined that Concherto maced the poodle, kicked her in the head, strangled her with her own hair ribbon and then beat her over the head senseless with a stack of Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. Concherto said it best in court Friday: "I maced the poodle, kicked her in the head, strangled her with her own hair ribbon and then beat her over the head senseless with a stack of Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes." Concherto admitted to torching the building down to cover up a Haitian drug ring inside that had been selling ginger peanut garlic sauce on the black market for 4 years. Two family members are still at large and Concherto will be testifying as to their wherabouts tomorrow. Concherto is expected to sing. Martha's Vinyard - Connie Chung has announced a wildcat strike. "I'm not interviewing anyone anymore," said Chung. "At least not until I get a Whopper." She said she will not interview Clinton about the Royal family, the downing of flight 69, or even Hillary's swimsuit this year. Chung is striking for better pay, wealth benefits, a burger and a meeting at the Russian Tea Room with Barbara Streisand, Billy Joel, Tipper Gore and Ozzy Osbourne. YNTL --> Yellow Journalism Intentional. Shawano, WI - Folksinging is now illegal in Forest, Langlade, Lincoln, Oneida, Wood and Vilas counties. 40-60 folksingers were arrested at their annual song circle, cowboy poetry, hootenany, rave July 8, 1997. The charges? Unlawful assembly, Shindigging without a permit and discharging a C minor chord within city limits. You heard it first here. web citation: http://www.menominee.com/nomining/ef3.html - - - - + - - - ( 0 ) - - - + - - - - - - 5 years after the quincentennial: It's Time to: MAKE OCTOBER 12TH INDIGENOUS PEOPLES DAY, Free Leonard Peltier, Stop Forced Relocation at Big Mountain, and Build a Movement for Justice and Human Rights for All! Five years ago, in 1992, hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people throughout the Americas spoke out and acted in opposition to the government sponsored celebrations of Christopher Columbus and in support of the rights of indigenous peoples. However today, in 1997, AIM activist Leonard Peltier sits in prison during this 21st year of incarceration for an act the government knows he did not commit. It has been revealed that the FBI withheld from his trial evidence that proves his innocence. In northeast Arizona, in the Black Mesa area, 3,000 indigenous people are fighting forced relocation from their land because Peabody Western Coal Company wants it to make profits. And there are numerous other examples of both continuing repression and continuing resistance by indigenous peoples against violations of their rights. Join with people around the country who will be fasting from Oct 1 through 12, fasting for part of that time, organizing local demonstrations and actions, or acting in other ways in solidarity with Leonard Peltier, the Big Mountain resisters, other struggling Native American peoples and for the human rights of all. We will never be free in this country until we face up to the historic record, set it straight and get it right. "Getting it right" means honoring, upholding and joining in solidarity with those who have much to teach us about living in harmony with the natural world, about working cooperatively for the good of all, and about steadfastness in struggle despite the most difficult conditions. We urge you to join us this October. For more information contact the Peoples Fast for Justice, PO Box 170610 Brooklyn, NY 11217 718-643-9603 (t) 718-643-8265 (f) indpol@igc.apc.org ------- ( . ) ------- ------- ( . . ) ------- ------- ( . ) ------- ------- ( ) ------- I end this edition of ATI, issue 92 with JOURNAL POME 20 from Marc Frucht's book "I SLURP MY COFFEE: Journal Pomes 1-33." JOURNAL POME 20. BOOT HILL OR BUST Lunch; Castle Rock: Still Further sings for the dead. Pitch covers Yaw, and graveyard Sings back from across street. Boot Hill, Colorado: Wild Turkey, Water and wine. Almost poison. "Commentary vouz," says Chipmonk- Looking squirrel guarding his nuts. Why must prophets die penniless? Hotsprings everywhere. Dreams of Halloweens. "Do you have a Rainbow name?" Anna asks. "Information," I inform, "given by Tom Joad. Yours?" "Matteo gave me it. Spells Anna backwards." "Zhoinks!" says Scooby Doo. "A computerized washing machine's not Worth the tin it's printed on." Rapid City - You can read the weather off Jefferson's forehead and Lincoln's chin. Went sole searching, just got scrod. Newport, RI. Bought Birkenstock Arizonas From Thames St. cobbler after chowderfest. Blood red moon drops in on Ocean Beach. 440 a.m. Grapeful Dead on FM. & no fog rolls up New London Harbour 2day. Moorehead, MINN. 2-masted Viking ship. Earl Eye In The Morning Tells jokes on FM radio. Fargo, ND. Might as well be Moorehead. Squash and Barq's root beer, then Minuet in G under concrete Buffalo balls. There's a box of buffalo Manure in Bismark and Mandan too. Ground Round, good coffee, great Cod, but blah chowder. 3.9 richter quake tremor for Danbury. Nervous, CT. Has a fault of her Own. Albany's fault too. "Seizmik," says Scooby Doo. She who takes limo to Dylan Concert Serves two masters. Radio station and cocaine. Zhoinks! A Beatrice New-Fig-Newton: car or cookie?? Medina parries; Mecca thrusts. that's it. thanks for reading. send all contributions to ati@etext.org for a free subscription (first dibs) send SUBSCRIBE ATI as the message to: listserv@brazerko.com questions? call 860-887-2600 ext 5293 and for a good time type: http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ATI.html