MENDICITY 101 by Marc Frucht. May 20, 1995 I've been told I can't: Beg, bum, canvass, Freeload, hustle, idle Linger, loiter; lolligag: Mooch, panhandle, solicit Sponge or tramp. But I don't think anyone Has ever had enough spine to Look me eye to eye saying, "I don't want you to Play your guitar here." Welcome to ATI issue 114. The first Sunday in February, 1998. Hygienic weekend for those of you in-the-know: The Special Onion Issue. Dedicated to Topless Vegetables. I'm prime anarchist and this is the numbers run for 2131 hours. http://remain.com http://www.not.com http://www.onion.com http://www.theonion.com Prime Anarchist Productions' contributing editors Crick and Crack, the Grackle brothers sat in the 3rd and 1st rows at Bob Dylan's 1st '98 show and then neither interviewed him NOR threw onions at him, but they did get this in to Marco: http://www.downcity.net/downcity/current/dylan.html SAY IT AIN'T SO JOE by Prime Anarchist Paul Harvey for Walmart, inc. This t-phile is tear-stained, people. Why? Why?? Why?!? I believed in you, Paul. Your dad too. What happened??? Paul Harvey, you're a bigger sell-out than the Mighty mighty Bosstones. There is no joy in Scudville. Next thing you know Saddam Hussein'll be hawking Pepsi products!!! AAA TTTTT IIIII A A T I AAA T I THE RAG READ ROUND THE WORLD A A T I A A T I A A T IIIII Well, Clinton's pissing me off too. Here's a quick op-ed from your's truly. $2000 incentive for anyone putting solar panels on their roof Bill Clinton said. State of the Onion address. Bill you dork. Call it what it is. Stop lying to us. Your penis, I mean your nose, is getting bigger than your nose, er, uh, I mean your penis. That wasn't your idea. Carter put it up for 3 years and then Reagan killed it. Now you. Makes me wonder who thought it up BEFORE Carter. Probably Eisenhower!!! You want history to smile upon you Billary, make all busses free in every city with a smog level of 10 and up. WARP. Woodworkers Alliance for Rainforest Protection. Now that's a concept. Somebody get me that URL. /\ / \ / ! \ / !!! \ / PRIME \ /ANARCHIST \ / SUX SHIT \ \ What some/are saying about the 3rd Midweek Crisis. (wednesday end of January) (the bill clinton one if you need to keyword search) "So when is the next issue of ATI comeing (sic) out?" gore@whitehouse.gov "Sorry, I don't have time for this kind of stuff. Good magazine but who cares if he leaked?" Hans T. Utrecht School of the Arts "I'm sorry I cannot respond to your query. I am employed to support developers (programmers) Consequently, I cannot justify providing customer-level support." splitterofinfinitives@apple.com "Can't be for real. Clinton could never deliver a speech that short. ;) " RS 860 "Prime Anarchist Sux Shit." happy@thekeyboard.com CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: The information contained in this transmission is considered by the sender to be confidential. This material is intended only for the use of the recipient named above. If the reader or other recipient of this material is not the intended recipient named above, please notify me and delete this transmission. Thank You. New Verse To Joplin's "Mercedes Benz." Lord won't you buy me Virtual Reality. Been slaving my life away Please help me to see. Worked hard all my lifetime Paying all these bills (for me) Lord won't you buy me Virtual reality. THIS IS OUR PEACE DIVIDEND??? by the Prime Anarchist. Your household homer. Or was that your homely housemate? Heavenly Whorehouse? Wholehearted half-ass? Heavenly hash. I spent $37 on a peace sign at 7-11 $27 for a tie-dye at the mall 17 bucks for a Bobby Dylan CD. 'N 7 dollars for a friendship bracelet at Wal-Mart. Lord it's expensive to be a hippy these days God I hate it when they charge you to drop out. Look at my button fly bell-bottoms They're 501's with an attitude. Cost me $75 for an hour at the range To rip these bullet holes in the legs. Isn't it cool when you say Groovy, neat-o and bananas all in The same sentence? I had granola, milk, bananas, Yogurt and a bran muffin with my Steakum sandwich. Can I put my Goodwill purchase on Mastercard Or visa? C'mon dude. McDonalds lets me eat. Lord it's avante garde to be Yippie, these ways. I flash a peace sign at my Drill sargent and he waves his Bamboo love beads at me from around his neck. Peace is a force to be reckoned with. Forces of peace. I'm a peace-force. I'm the hippy from hell with my VW superbeetle pre-restored and painted Dayglo. Only costing my dad $259 a month and he Doesn't even make me pay for the insurance. And it takes super-unleaded too. I spent $37 on a peace sign at 7-11 $27 for a tie-dye at the mall 17 bucks for a Bobby Dylan CD. 'N 7 dollars for a friendship bracelet at Wal-Mart. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - /Part 2 (continued from issue 111) of the Infinite Onion / / Prime Anarchist Interview / / will continue in issue 115; for we went long. / - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Send all contributions and whatever else to: ati@etext.org Free subscription to this weekly zine can be gotten at: listserv@brazerko.com Just put: SUBSCRIBE ATI as the entire message. Get back issues at http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/cygnus.html We end with a poem because: After the world pops; myth is all we got... PLATH CAN'T PUT A BRUSH IN A POEM BUT I'LL PUT IN AN ATTEMPT by the collegiate. I really can It can't be too hard, can it? Here I'll try to build a poem Which has a toothbrush in it. It's a small one But the bristles are hard, sort of A poem with a softer brush Might be harder to have heard of. Does this work? Or does it kind of flounder, for you. Here I apply some cleansing agent- In case of blunder. Wouldn't you? For your grin, A toothbrush -- a little poem, take it My gift, uplifting scrub hold the handle A chance, like Plath with plaque I took it. Not half bad At least it doesn't fail, badly. Maybe it even pulls a smile From within, when you feel badly. That's it. Prime saying If you payed for this You Got Ripped Off ...