"Obviously you are not someone who is interested in such intangibles as demographics or anything as complicated as market research." --Sir Cygnus of (860) 165. 8feb99 , _ || ' happy < \, =||= \\ fullmoon /-|| || || we've (( || || || waited \/\\ \\, \\ so long 4! MAY CONTAIN PEANUTS Brook is either broke or breaking up with Andre; the only good thing about Donny and Marie are their ears; and suddenly Susan is on everybodys' tongues. Why, why, why! Greetings fellow above average people - you too in the cheaper seats, it's ATI, Activist Television Interview, issue 165. Wow. ATI is brought to you by MaShuGa Cookies, Baked With Organic Flour. "Cookies so good it'll make you crazy!" Mashuga Nuts, Inc. San Rafael, CA 94903 What...You were expecting Brooklyn? |||||||| | ^ ^ | (| * * |) -----oOOo---(____)---oOOo------ http://www.zip.com.au/~dm http://www.columbia.edu/~carson/JohnDoe http://www.nativeamericanmusic.com http://www.foodnotbombs.org http://fly.to/zine-express http://baez.woz.org http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ati130.html http://www.thebird.org http://www.olga.net http://www.dogeatdogfilms.com http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli/frucht.html http://www.rukind.com elvis.out.trw.com AND NOW A WORD FROM THE ATI PUBLISHER Ugh! OK, that was two words, sorry. All Right. I turn this column over to my close friend Cygnus (860) who has a few good words for you all: Dear Sirs, Do you ever get replies to your bulk emailing that could be considered emotionally damaging? If so I have written a program that filters out phrases such as "Spam Spewing Simpletons" or "Leave me alone you Bastards" from incoming emails, leaving you undisturbed with the untold countless millions that await you in your new found effort to get rich without ever really producing a product or indeed a service that is worth anything. I have even made the filter's sensitivity level adjustable so that you can set the automatic deletion function to activate at the familiar phrase "Fuck You" at minimum to "I didn't request any of this information", or "Unsubscribe" at maximum. Obviously you are not someone who is interested in such intangibles as demographics or anything as complicated as market research. You believe that everyone should be interested in your new found way of buying houses using only used popsicle sticks and husks of Spanish onions. I applaud you for your deep under standing of human nature that everyone wants to know these things and will send you $19.95 to reward you for your philanthropic endeavors. And there is no reason why you should have to put up with the few ingrates that wish to vocalize their misguided frustration by sending negatively charged email to you , directly interfering with your ability to enjoy making the untold millions that await you. My simple program SCUMRID costs a mere $35.00, takes up a mere 50k of disk space, and takes seconds to install and works FAST. Some even say its over efficient, increasing system performance in areas they didn't expect. Many companies insist that after using my program they found they had increased the amount of free hard drive space to a level they had enjoyed before they installed their bulk emailing program and in some case their ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM!!! Please send all enquiries to: Cygnus@downcity.net /\ \/ WE GET A COUPLE LETTUCE 1'S IN A WILEY To Yous Guys: Just a thought I want you to roll around your noggins while you work on your next publication. 100 Soothsayers of National Doom: All of them. Haiku Mike (212) Dear Sir/Madam As an user of the Microsoft Internet Explorer, Microsoft Corporation provides you with this upgrade for your web browser. It will fix some bugs found in your Internet Explorer. To install the upgrade, please save the attached file (ie0199.exe) in some folder and run it. For more information, please visit our web site at http://www.microsoft.com/ie/ [ummm. didn't u dorks INVENT the spellchecker???] ------------------- ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake ----------------------- to ati@etext.org: UNIVERSITY DEGREE PROGRAMS Increase your personal prestige and money earning power through an advanced university degree. Eminent, non-accredited universities will award you a degree for only $200. Degree granted based on your present ability to send $200. No further effort necessary on your part. Just a short phone call is all that is required for a BA, MA, MBA, or PhD diploma diluting the field of your choice. For details, call 602-230-4252 [ed note: thanks for sending these. I liked the 687th one the best. It was much more witty than all the others, especially the 127th...] [our favorite letter to the editor this week came in the form of a great poem] it's from erin, aka: tjmax he ar two they are every ware they are gno where what when how we s(t)ay sane in format (i) on. thanks aer in --- ATI - The Web Offset Press --- That's N O T a HOE. Hello I found some of your work on the web and wanted to invite you to visit our literary journal - A Writer's Choice. Please feel free to submit your work. http://members.spree.com/writer/ Thank you and Good luck, Leslie Blanchard Editor A Writer's Choice Literary Journal ISSN: 1521-2319 to: ati@etext.org I've just recieved a disturbing phone call from a couple of long time on the land supporters at Big Mntn. Today (Feb 2, '99) the livestock confiscations may have started in earnest, or at the very least they are surveying the areas they intend to hit soon. There were aparently several confiscation crews on the land around what we call "Down town Big Mntn" or the area around Anna Mae camp. That's realy all i know but it disturbs me enuf to send out this posting. The supporters have asked me to send out a request for immeadiate supporter presence on the land. Any who can get out there in the next day or two are asked to do so. This is at the very least a harrasment and threat of confiscation to mess with the elders heads. The relocation folks are growing desperate to get the last resisters off the land before the UN can act. walk in Beauty, m.g. ------------------- ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake ----------------------- USPS ANNOUNCES "THIRD PENNY" INCREASE. -Washington, DC Unveiling a stamp series devoted to the Longplaying album (the LP) the United States Postal Service will be increasing price April 1, 1999 by 1/3 of a penny to make the cost of delivering a first class letter thirty three and one third cents. General Inspector, Sidney Bloomingthal said the stamps will be really neat. "Buddy Holly, Elvis, Marco Capelli, the Beatles, Little Eva, Harry Fox, Phil Spector, they're all gonna be on there," said Bloomingthal at a press conference yesterday at the Rose Garden. He said each stamp will honor someone who's put out an album. If they don't have an LP, they won't be on a stamp. That got around regulations for only honoring dead people. Each person's face will be emblazoned inside an album. Artists are being hired from a field of poppies as we go to press. Bloomingthal called for a 24-hour moment of silent speculation as to what other musicians will be honored on the 33 1/3 cent stamp this April. Rumors are that Michael B. Williams, Getty "John Paul" Lee, and KISS will all make an appearance. -30- ------------------- ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake ----------------------- "I'm praying about this [Clinton's peaches of important articles] and I don't mean that figuratively, this is a serious matter." --Senator Byrd, Politicial, Propagandist, Perjurer, and Popular Politician Punisher. OPEN LETTER TO SOMETIME SENATOR ROBERT BYRD When have you been figurative about praying?? I REALLY want to know this. Tipping your hand, you give me need now to ask every human who calls the self a Christian how figuratively they be. Do you swear to schpiel the truth, the ruthless truth, and nothing but the soothsaying sleuthtruth so help you fig leaf? Spring is here, can you hear it? Birds. You've been right since 5 or 6 years old. Don't let them beat it out of you. Or you've got "uphill," getting it back the rest of your life! While we allow our "clergy" to preach hate, what are we doing to God's children all over the world??? PRESS RELEASE: From: NAMMYS@aol.com This year's show is scheduled for June 19th at Foxwoods. We have a NAMMY winners tour going out in May featuring Joanne Shenandoah, R. Carlos Nakai Quartet, John Trudell and Walela. More information will be on our website shortly. http://www.nativeamericanmusic.com Nammys (212) ***U R Tuned 2 KATI*** *** Radius Radio. *** *** 207.12.10.9 on *** ***your nameserver *** Ghost-writer Copyright 1999 Michael Boren Williams All International Rights Reserved Do you recognise all the songs you hear Are the melodies slow to leave your ear Well I could say the same Of course I heard them first They came to me in dreams Then people stole my work I'm a ghostwriter Oh I'm a ghostwriter Oh Did you really believe those clowns compose Haven't you noticed the playback at their shows Well they don't want you to hear how they really sound And they don't want me to be anywhere around 'Cause I'm their ghostwriter Oh I'm a ghostwriter Oh Give a little bit of bass Watch the seventh and the flat Keep the cello where it's at No vibrato on the eighth Have the girls sing in thirds Have the flautists play like birds. Now they've hypnotised millions with their licks Using all of the high-tech studio tricks And starving chaps like me live in obscurity While so-called "super-stars" fill the phoney charts I'm a ghostwriter Oh I'm a ghost-writer Oh Watch the level on the verse Catch the echo Change the snare Put some reverb back in there Try to punch in if you can Got to tune before you pan Load the samples in the box Try compressing at the gate Bounce the tracks It's getting late Find the humming in the mix Get the chips off of the board Now the decibles have soared Make it analog to DAT Leave the digital alone The union freaks are going home --- ---- --- http://www.williamsmusic.simplenet.com/ghostwriter.mp3 Rapsong In Blue by Tophat Girthman (212) Cause a this sound I got a feelin it'll scream Up the charts. This my pseudo Intellectual alternative song About Pop Tarts. Here is a sound And I think it'll work. 20 years a music knowlege For this song, I just shirk. Everything sucks, everything sucks Everything sucks, everything Sucks. Even my vacuum cleaner. We'll kick your assess Kick your asses, kick your Asses. Cause even my bedroom is cleaner. MTV sucks, MTV sucks, MTV sucks, MTV Sucks. Even my vacuum cleaner. Knows my dog's meaner. /\-----/ /ending/ /----\-/ We end ATI 165 with a very short poem Needless Things; Need Less Things send all sendmail to: ati@etext.org