GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD G G w _____ ____ 1 1 999 "Whoopty Woop" w D // | \ 11 11 9 9 by Bob tMotW and Lobo "Booty" Licious D * || ____ | || | 1 1 999 * G || || \ / | || | 1 1 9 issue #119 of "GwD: The American Dream G w \\___// \/\/ |____/ 111 111 999 with a Twist -- of Lime" * rel 04/12/02 w D D GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- This here is a money-making scheme we developed. We hope you enjoy. It'll work for us, no doubt. If *YOU* try it, though, you might get arrested or even deported. Phase I - White Slavery ----------------------- Kidnap lots and lots of white babies. You might ask, "Why white? Are you fuckers racist or something?" The answer to this is a resounding "No!" Why white indeed... We hear that white children (specifically, very young children, commonly called 'babies') fetch top dollar as slaves in the Sudan and the Western Sahara. That's why we want white kids. We'd kidnap other races (y'know, gooks and punjabs) if we could turn a profit. Once we have made a significant profit in the white-slave trade, we will sell our slavery ring to our high school European History teacher, affectionately known as "Pillows." We will then move on to Phase II. Phase II - Professional Gamblers -------------------------------- Using the money we gleaned from selling cute little honkeys into slavery, we will set ourselves up as professional gamblers. We'll play nickel and quarter slots, mostly, but we'll dress flashy, hang out with trashy girls, and finagle our way into comp'ed suites at Las Vegas resorts. We'll be perpetually drunk (on comp'ed booze), and we'll have the best coke and smack flown in from South America for us and our trashy girls. We will reside in our comp'ed suites, winning nickel and quarter jackpots, until Linkin Park comes to Vegas on a tour. Phase III - Linkin Park ----------------------- Yes, Linkin Park. We don't really like Linkin Park, but they're an integral part of our scheme. Bob and Lobo somewhat resemble (if you squint and it's really dark outside) the two singers/rappers in this shitty band. Aww yeah. When they come to Vegas, we'll use our ill-gotten gains to infiltrate the Linkin Park organization. Right before a show, we'll get those two chaches really stoned on our South American narcotics and send them to our white- slavery contacts in the Sudan (even though, we think, one of them may be chinkish). We will thus take the stage in the guise of Linkin Park. Our first acts, after miserably sucking at the show that night, will be to fire the other members of the band and to replace them with Pillows and the Schunk. Linkin Park will thus be remade in our image, and we will exploit it for our own financial gain. Phase IV - Repeat as Needed --------------------------- Uhh, yeah. The title is self-explanatory. --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- Issue#119 of "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585 copyright (c) MMII Bob tMotW & Lobo "Booty" Licious/GwD Pubz /---------------\ copyright (c) MMII GwD, Inc. All rights reserved :GLORIOUS TA-TAS: a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. : GwD : Postal: GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 \---------------/ FYM -+- http://www.GREENY.org/ - editor@GREENY.org - submit@GREENY.org -+- FYM GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD